In my line of work, I’ve been fortunate to meet so many amazing people … some famous, others infamous, and then there are those who I consider to be the true stars because of their pure hearts and beautiful spirits. But no matter the type of person, I’m always fascinated when I meet women who seemingly have it together, but, for one reason or another, just can’t figure it out when it comes to matters of the heart.
Many times, their love failures aren’t directly linked to any incorrect behavior or thought pattern on their part. Life just gets the best of them.
But then there are times — and it happens more often than they may care to admit — that the only thing standing in the way of their present happiness is their past.
What do I mean by that?
Well, I’ve seen my fair share of instances where the past mistakes of men have crippled women, in effect rendering them incapable of opening themselves up to the possibility of love.
A great articulation of this point comes in the form of Lil Wayne’s song “How to Love.” And since this may be the only time we can learn about love from Weezy, I figured it’d be best to promptly capitalize on this moment.
Class is now in session and will be led by our guest professor, Lil Wayne. Pay close attention to these timely love lessons.
Lesson 1 – The Past is a Cruel Mutha.
The Lyrics: “You had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever, now you’re in the corner trying to put it together.”
The Fly Analysis:
Along with our pursuit of love comes the chance that things may not work out. It’s a risk that we all take when we open our hearts up to another person. But the subsequent hurt that may or may not happen pales in comparison to the euphoric highs that can be achieved when loving the right person.
That fact alone is why I’ve never understood the self-imposed timeouts that so many women take. (“now you’re in the corner trying to put it together”) When it comes to love, we all rise, we all fall, we all smile, and we all cry… It’s just a part of the journey.
With that being said, you should never remove yourself from the game. Because once you do, you effectively eliminate any chance of meeting the one person that could change your life forever.
Lesson 2 – The Past Can Make You Paranoid
The Lyrics: “When you were just a youngin’ your looks were so precious, but now you’re grown up so fly it’s like a blessing. But you can’t have a man look at you for five seconds without you being insecure. You never credit yourself, so when you got older, it seems like it came back ten times over. Now you’re sitting here, in this damn corner, looking through all your thoughts and looking over your shoulder.”
The Fly Analysis:
I’m actually sitting here making a mental list of all of the “paranoid” women that I know. Now, I understand the negative connotation associated with a word like paranoid, so let me quickly explain.
I was once the victim of a pickpocket. The moment that I realized what happened, I instantly became hypervigilant to the point of being paranoid. Every person that came close to me, I instantly assumed the worse. Kid … little old lady … didn’t matter. They were all up to something as far as I was concerned.
I soon realized that this type of behavior was unhealthy. I also realized that my behavior mirrored that of women who immediately assume that men are up to no good just because they got hurt in the past.
Just as I had to discover after being robbed, you also must realize that you can’t be paranoid when you meet men. While a healthy dose of common sense does come in handy, you can’t live your life paralyzed by the fear of what might happen… That’s the worst possible existence.
Lesson 3 – When it comes to relationships, stereotypes are useless.
The Lyrics: “I admire poppin’ bottles and pimpin’ just as much as you admire bartending and stripping.”
The Fly Analysis: Let me know if this sounds familiar: “All men are__________(insert negative saying)______” … “All they want is ___________(insert more negativity — preferably something sexual)_______”
Perhaps the greatest challenge of any man in the dating world is overcoming the stereotypes heaped on him by centuries of hurt, scarred women. And while there are certainly men who deserve the labels thrust upon them, there are many of us who don’t.
So, as we get to know each other, I expect you to look at me in the same way that you would expect me to look at you … as a blank canvas. I won’t label you with the some of the negative female stereotypes that you despise and, in return, I would appreciate it if you returned the favor. A new relationship doesn’t stand a chance if you decide otherwise.
Lesson 4 – Self-belief is the most powerful belief of them all.
The Lyrics: “See I just want you to know that you deserve the best, you’re beautiful. And I want you to know, you’re far from the usual.”
The Fly Analysis: I’m not going to belabor this point. The simple fact is that I think you’re beautiful. And yes, if you’re reading these words, then I’m talking to you.
I’m sure you’ve heard countless times that you can’t love someone else until you first love yourself. And while that’s certainly true, I need you to first know that you’re both beautiful and incredibly special.
Because when I look you in your eyes and say those very words, I need you to know that it’s true. I need you to believe them more than I do. If you don’t, then you’ll always have doubts about the validity of our relationship and the integrity of my words.
If those two things are in question, then we’ll never have a chance.
**The Fly Conclusion – There are lessons to be learned with everything in life … even songs by Lil Wayne. I hope you take these lessons and apply them accordingly. Who knows; it may draw you that much closer to learning “how to love.”
Click below to listen to Lil Wayne’s “How to Love” … the subject of today’s Fly Guy Love Lessons.