STD Scare Invades Occupy Wall Street

STD Scare Invades Occupy Wall Street

We are shocked, (shocked!) to report that random, unprotected sex happens when passionate protesters convene in New York’s Zuccotti Park.


At some point, the fight against Wall Street greed parlayed into a “‘60s-era expression of free love,” and Occupy Wall Street protesters are now flooding the neighboring STD clinics.


According to a New York Post report, after a week of free love with “crusty” individuals, a source said, “volunteers at the medical tent hand out cash, usually $15 or $20, so the randy radicals can visit clinics that cater to a low-income clientele.”

A volunteer at Zuccotti Park, who said his name was Captain, added: “We give directions to clinics if people ask for information regarding STDs.”


“Like anything else, it happens. People ask, and we do the best we can for them,” he added.

Pregnancy tests were also in high demand.

An internal sex task force was organized to address the nearly 400 cuddling protesters, some of whom engaged in drugs and drinking as well, as the party atmosphere could “distract from the message.”

The romance may be short-lived as showers are scarce for the protesters, said Patrick Rowe, 48, “The first five days, I didn’t take a shower; it was rough.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Join our Newsletter

Sign up for Rolling Out news straight to your inbox.

Read more about:
Also read