Story by Amir Shaw
A purse, makeup and a copy of Steve Harvey’s Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. Shortly after Harvey released his New York Times best-seller in 2009, the book soon became an important accessory for women who were searching for solutions to making love less complicated.
The success of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man prompted Hollywood producers to turn this coveted self-help book into a feature film. Directed by Tim Story, the film features an ensemble cast that includes Kevin Hart, Gabrielle Union, Michael Ealy, Terrence J, Meagan Good, Regina Hall and Romany Malco.
Each character’s story line is based on Harvey’s theories of how women should deal with a slacker boyfriend, dating a guy who makes significantly less money, the “mama’s boy,” and withholding sex until she’s sure her man is serious about their relationship.
In essence, the film proves that love usually begins as a jousting match.
Men and women both approach this intriguing duel with subtle plans and strategies that can shift the power and direction of a relationship at any moment.
Hart, Union, Terrence J, Hall and Malco all revealed personal experiences about dealing with love’s tug of war and how every person in the dating pool can relate to Think Like a Man.
The lines have been drawn. Let the battle of the sexes begin.
How did Steve Harvey’s Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man change your perspective of a relationship?
It’s best to hear it from a man who has lived it. Steve Harvey has lived it. His mistakes early in life became a vehicle to let women know what to do and what not to do when involved in a relationship. It allows women to realize that the problems they are having with men could come from their mistakes in their personal life. It shows women they have to do better. You have to love you, before you worry about who I am doing [laughs].
At this point in my life, having dealt with a divorce, some of the things are kind of common sense. But for my younger self, I would’ve learned a lot from Steve’s book.
Steve Harvey touched on different view points that we all go through while in relationships. The book helps women to get an idea [of what] men are really thinking about when it comes to love and relationships.
Everyone can relate to Steve Harvey’s book in some way. When you watch the film or read the book, you can see yourself as a character or know someone who is similar to the characters.
The film deals with the importance of why women should wait 90 days before having sex. Is the 90-day rule realistic in this day and time?
Some men may choose to wait. But with me, it’s harder because women look at me as a piece of meat and they want to get down to the nitty gritty real fast [laughs].
At my age, my most significant relationship was when I waited two years. The second most significant relationship was when we waited one year. It tells you a lot about a women who needs to be validated sexually to make a connection. It doesn’t mean that a woman wanting sex is a bad thing, but if she is willing to let a man get to know her through conversation, that’s special. I’ve had one-night stands, but I didn’t take those women seriously.
The 90-day rule is more about symbolism. It’s about waiting until you know it’s right. You don’t have to put out a calendar date and stick with it.
So what happens if you wait 90 days and he’s not good in bed? He’s a good guy, though. Do you still keep him?
No. What are we doing? He can be a great guy for someone else. I need to want to have sex with you a lot. And if I don’t want to have sex with you, it’ll be a problem.
Sometimes it can be awkward on the first time. But if he’s worthy, you should give it another try. But if you discovery that you don’t have physical chemistry, there’s no point in doing it.
If you deal with someone and you like who they are as a person, you should take the time to train that person. As a sexual king, I’ve trained a few myself [laughs].
So what about the opposite side of that. If you have a man who wants to play X-box all day, but he’s nice and is good in bed, do you keep him?
I’m too old for that at this point. He has to bring a little more to the table. I can’t do it.
Good penis days are gone. It can’t feed you. I dated a guy and we called him Mr. Feet because he didn’t have a car. I would always pick him up, or different people would drop him off at my house. So that meant there were always different people who knew where I stayed. So, as you can guess, that relationship didn’t work out.
What do you want people to take away from this movie?
We watch things to learn. If you want to be a lawyer, you go to law school. Or if you want to be an account, you take business courses. When you look at love, there really isn’t a foundation. For a lot of us, movies shape us. This film gives us solid things to look at and shape our idea of love.
You’ll see that everybody experiences problems in their relationships. This movie captures what men and women really go through. After working things out, it allows us to realize what we all want and value when it comes to relationships.