Let me be candid for a moment. While lasting love is the ultimate end goal to your relationship journey, there are a few things that you’ll have to give up the moment you decide to commit. Some concessions will be good, and others … well, let’s just say that they’ll take a little getting used to.
So, without further adieu, let’s take a look at five things that a man has to give up once he commits. (Fly Note: Women feel free to take this list and apply it to your own situation.)
1. Your Lack of Accountability
Before you jumped headfirst into the deep waters of commitment, your actions often went unchecked. Whatever you wanted to do (within the confines of the law, of course), you could do it and not worry about how it was going to make another person feel.
But once you decided to commit, you instantly had another set of feelings that you had to take into consideration. So, those weekend camping trips with the talent from your local strip club will now be a distant memory; that is, if you want to avoid the loss of teeth.
2. Your Personal Space
I’m a firm believer that maintaining your personal space is a must in order to preserve your relationship sanity. By that same token though, I’m also not naïve enough to believe that you won’t have to concede some part of that space the moment you commit to someone.
The truth is, relationships are all about your ability to share your time, space and heart with another person. So, yes, you’re going to have to give up some of your Friday nights, some of those vanilla wafers you love so much and probably the left side of your bed.
That just comes with the territory.
3. Any Female Friends
“End of the Road” … “It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye to Yesterday” …
Take your pick from two of my favorite Boyz II Men songs as they both apply to the future state of your miscellaneous friendships with other women.
Now, there may be an isolated case or two where the new love will begrudgingly allow your relationship with another woman to continue. But those are few and far between, and they usually require a notarized letter from your congressman to let it fly.
So, say goodbye to Tonya, Keisha, Stacy and that cute little bow-legged waitress who works at Applebee’s.
4. Your Singular Identity
As soon as word gets out that you’re officially off the market, the expectation then becomes that the two of you will always be together. So, brace yourself for the “where’s your girl” questions that are sure to come whenever you decide to venture out alone.
I’m sure your boys will be the main culprits when it comes to this … but that’s ok. It’s just their indirect, ball-busting way of acknowledging this new phase of your life.
5. The Unlimited Text and Email Option on Your Phone
Remember when your phone could be mistaken as your significant other? Ahh, the good ol’ days … back when you texted and emailed about as often as Lindsay Lohan gets arrested. That type of behavior, however, will be curbed the moment you commit.
And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In today’s cyber age, it’s easy to become overly dependent on your devices. But thankfully, you now have a girlfriend who will gently (or not) remind you that it’s time to put the phone down.
When I first announced that I was writing on this particular subject, my Twitter account was set ablaze by a host of women who were all sure that I was about to bash their sisterhood.
But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Like any important decision in life, one must be aware of the changes that come along with relational commitment. As much as you might like them to, things just can’t stay the same. So, before you take that step to commit, be absolutely sure that you’re ready for what comes with it.
I think I’m done for now… Can the church say, “Amen?”