Erica Mena just doesn’t give a d—. At any given moment, the Bronx, New York, native can be boisterous, argumentative, and overtly sexual, but she is also unapologetic about who she is and what she chooses to represent.
Her unpredictability and brash attitude make Mena must-see TV every week on VH1’s “Love & Hip Hop.”
You watch because it’s only a matter of time before Mena confronts a cast mate or snatches a weave. When conflict enters her realm, Mena’s wrath is merciless.
But underneath the quick-tempered personality is a softer side. Mena loves hard and is willing to go above and beyond to please family, close friends and her significant other. Within the next year, her life will undergo a dramatic change.
Along with appearing on the new season of “Love & Hip Hop,” Mena will be marrying the love of her life, Bow Wow. She believes that he adds a calm to her life that she has never experienced before.
In this edition of rolling out, Mena sheds light on how a simple on-camera kiss from Bow Wow eventually led to wedding plans. She also shares why she embraces her bisexuality, reveals her sexual desires, and discusses the drama on the new season of “Love & Hip Hop.”
This is the story of Erica Mena — that crazy chick you can’t get enough of.
Anyone who watches “Love & Hip Hop” knows that you have moments where things get heated with arguments and fights. How do you react to seeing yourself act in such a manner?
I know how it happened in real time and then I also know that things in life just happen. People are going to judge you and hate you no matter what. I’m constantly going through the transition of love and hate at the same time and it just makes me who I am. I’ve finally come to the realization that because of the platform, I have to kind of take a view on my life. Editing does play a big part because sometimes how it happens and how it’s edited doesn’t really work to your favor. But, this is still my life and it’s still entertaining. Whether people love it or hate it, they’re still intrigued about what’s going on with crazy Erica Mena. With the whole Kimbella situation, I had to learn that I have to think before I act. But I also have to be OK with being myself, because if I’m not being myself fully or truthfully, I’m not really living.
Last season, you were in a relationship with Cyn Santana. Some people will say, “Erica Mena was in love with a woman a few months ago, how can she be ready to marry a man?” How do you address such comments?
People have misconceptions about everyone I’ve dated. Last year, it’s like “oh, all of sudden, she’s gay.” No, I’ve been bisexual. In the past, I’ve been very open and affectionate towards females. It’s definitely no secret. At that point, I was dating a woman and brought her on the show.
When that whole “106 & Park” kiss happened, we were both seeing other people and that kiss put us in the doghouse. So we were kind of confiding in each other. I realized that he is a man who really knows me and I’ve never had someone to fully accept me for who I am, flaws and all. I think it just happened naturally with us. We were at that point of really wanting to settle down, but the people that we were with at the time just weren’t fitting us. So it just happened and I discovered that this was the person that I was really supposed to be with.
But people have said, “how can she be ready for marriage when she was just involved in a publicized relationship a few months prior?” It seems to have happened rather quickly. What do you say to people who think this is a publicity stunt?
I think people are trying to put pieces together in other people’s lives so much that they are not living their own life. Cyn and I have been broken up for a while, I just hadn’t publicly come out about it because I’m on reality television. So to keep you tuned in, I had to keep things under wraps. So in this season of “Love & Hip Hop,” there’s a lot of catching up for the fans to do. And I think they will see how everything transpired and will get a better understanding.
You’re very open sexually. What turns you on the most when it comes to sex?
Being with Bow [Wow], he’s so dominating and that just turns me on because I’m usually the dominating one. I’m a Scorpio, so I call the shots. It’s different to have someone that you can finally be submissive to. So dealing with a woman like me, it’s kind of like, ‘can she be tamed?’ It’s all a matter of, are you man enough to tame the woman. And there’s a way to be assertive, but still give that embraceable nature that makes a woman kind of be submissive to you, that’s very powerful. But in order for a man to feel like a man, a woman has to give him the most respect. But in order for the woman to give you that respect, you kind of have to demand it and make her embrace you for what you are doing to her for her to respect you. So it’s a catch-22. I think men are scared of being men these days.
Why do you think some men are afraid to be men?
From my last relationship with ‘B—- Dollaz’ [Rich Dollaz], he was just one of those dudes who would always run home to his mama. You know, it just shows that you’re a punk at that point. And that also goes for respect. You can still be a man and have authority and get your point across without being disrespectful. I think a man should “think like a man.”
Now that you’re engaged, what do you think men respect most about women?
Men love women who aren’t babies, who don’t nag and you don’t have to stroke their egos. You just kind of have to be sure of yourself. If you feel good, I’m telling you every man in America will know you’re feeling good.
How do you want to be remembered after “Love & Hip Hop”?
In my career, I want to be known as the girl who was crazy enough to go for it and brave enough to get it done. In my personal life, I want to be the one who takes care of everybody. And in my marriage, I want to be that wife that my husband can really rely on for everything. I don’t want it to ever get to a point where my husband can’t be honest with me, or that he isn’t sexually into me. As a mom, I want to be that mother that steers her children to be whatever they want to be, but also lets them know that the world will never give them anything. So when they grow up, they can come back and say, “mom, you were right.”
Story by A.R. Shaw
Photos by DeWayne Rogers