Photo credit: Shutterstock

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Perhaps in your lifetime you’ve met someone and can’t help but to be memorized by her or him. You get to know them a little better and before you know it, you’re in love with a married woman or man. And, this would be completely normal … if she or he weren’t already married to someone else. Never fall in love with a married woman or man.

There are many women and men who are familiar with these feelings and sadly enough, are unable to help themselves. However, there are things you can put into perspective to give yourself a reality check. And, yes you really do need a reality check if you are caught up in this situation. It is never acceptable to be in love with a married woman or man.

These reality checks are valid and definitely needed. Secondly, there are more than just your personal feelings to take into consideration.

Never act on it. If you haven’t been in this situation, then don’t start; not to mention that it’s a terrible idea. She or he is married and has already committed to someone else and despite your feelings, you need to respect that.  And, you’re disrespecting he or him and their family.

You’ll always be referred to as the other woman or man. You’ll never be more to anyone than the woman/man she/he left he or his family for. Their family and friends will never think of you as anything other than that. This will not only give you a bad name, but will create friction within her/his family.

Do you really want the person because he or she is not available? Have you ever thought that you might only be attracted to this person because they’re already taken? This often happens when someone finds out that the person they’re only mildly attracted to is actually taken. For some strange reason, this prompts something in some people, and they suddenly find themselves head over heels in love. You may only want the individual because you know that you can’t have them.

She or he will never leave their spouse for you. The vast majority of the time, the woman or man will never leave their relationship, so stop wasting your time.

She or he has a family and you’re not a part of it. If the woman or man that you’re in love with is happily married and has a family, you should just walk away while you still can. You are not a part of her/his family nor will she or he ever see you that way. Regardless of your feelings, you need to realize this and stop the pursuit.

Never a pretty ending. So, you’re in love with her or him. What’s next? You tell her/him, then they leave their spouse for you, and you all live happily ever after? Not. This is what’s more likely to happen: you’ll tell he or him your feelings, they’ll pretend that they feel the same way (just to get your goodies). Eventually, the husband or wife gets suspicious, and they’ll break things off with you (leaving you heartbroken and alone).

If any of the above mentioned items are a reality check for you, then you should know how to proceed with your situation. At the end of the day, being in love with a married woman or man has no purpose or destination. Focus on finding someone that is right for you and most importantly, is available.

Myra C. Harris

The author of How to Get a Man: From the Kitchen, to the Bedroom, to the Ring, which can be purchased at www.letaypublishing.com.