Culture

Interracial Cheating: Atlanta, Home of the Swirl

Thu., Jul. 26, 2012 5:44 AM EDT
by Zondra Hughes

Noel Biderman, founder of AshleyMadison.com a website for married cheaters, says that monogamy is a myth.

What cheating trends have you unearthed among your users?

The communication that’s existing between people of similar background tends to be if you’re Caucasian you’ll want to meet other people who are Caucasian, if you’re African American, you’ll want to communicate with other African Americans, but for whatever reasons, the unique communication pattern in Atlanta is the exact opposite. African American men and women are communicating with people from different backgrounds.

Caucasian men are actually speaking with women who are Asian, Hispanic, and African American. For whatever reason, Atlanta is our greatest melting pot. This is the first time we ever looked at it, but Philadelphia is our second most-interracial city and Houston is the third.

Any gender-based cheating trends?

We have 300,000 women on our site who are married but seeking a same-sex relationship, what that tells you is that they’re with someone their partner can’t be. That may be the same case in interracial relationships.

That desire to be with someone from a different background may become so strong, so palpable, that you act on it.

Upwards of 300,000 married women registered on AshleyMadison want to meet other women. (Posed by professional models)..

How would you explain the proliferation of same-sex attraction among your users?

There’s a very strong pull, a strong undercurrent to be married in society, heterosexual, and to have children.  There are a lot of people who define themselves as heterosexual, but it may be more accurate to define them as bisexual or homosexual…but they are buying into that family life and trying to have a different sexual life.

What is your best advice for cheaters who don’t want to get caught?

It starts with your choice, whom you’re going to have an affair with. If you have an affair in the workplace, it’s going to get discovered. It’s too obvious, coworkers spend 8-10 hours a day around you, and once someone does find out, someone is going to lose their job, that is ultimately what happens.

Facebook is designed to share with your closest friends and that is the worst place to have an affair. Ultimately, you need to find someone who has just as much to lose as you do and who will sign on to that behavior pattern.

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