What White moms need to teach their daughters that Black moms always have

Bill Cosby accusers
Bill Cosby; Janice Dickinson (Getty); Barbara Bowman (Daily Mail): Joan Tarshis (Splash News)

Three shows and four public sexual assault allegations later, this writer can no longer be silent about the Bill Cosby rape scandal.


TV Land has announced they are pulling “Cosby” reruns from its lineup. For more than 25 years, Black families have revered this man who brought us “The Cosby Show,” which in September celebrated its 30th anniversary of the airing of its first episode. This is the latest in a round of entertainment content distributors, including NBC and Netflix, who are disassociating with the comedian–turned–philanthropist.


Having read about and listened to accusers Janice Dickinson and Joan Tarshis, whose Cosby encounter was alleged to have taken place in 1969, I realize we need to see this as a teaching moment for naive girls, or as we now label them, thirsty girls.

I am a grits and very proud of it. Having grown up in the South in 1970s and 1980s, when we weren’t so free spirited and hypersexual, I learned the rules and dating codes so there aren’t any mixed signals, a long time ago.


One, never go home alone with strangers. Especially if you are an aspiring comedy writer and think simply because the man has a show on TV and he’s your new “mentor,” it’s OK.

Two, never drink with strangers, especially alcohol, unless its BYOB and you pour your own drink because you know your limit.

Barbara Bowman, who settled out of court with Cosby for an undisclosed amount of money following her alleged assault that occurred in 1985, made it pretty clear in her article she penned for the Washington Post  she wanted to be “a star” and in her mind “it was part of the deal.” Nearly 30 years later, it’s rape? Now that’s defamatory, literally.

You can’t blame a virile man for your poor judgement when the end didn’t really justify the means, or live up to your fantasy of fame and stardom. Rape is indefensible. And, we can’t redefine remorse as rape because its 2014 and there’s a new wave of feminism at play. I don’t doubt the encounters. However, I doubt the women were victimized by Cosby. This sexual assault scandal is bigger than an incidence of college date rape, it borders on slander.

Who’s the beneficiary? Dropping names, especially the name of a  77-year-old man, and to accuse him as Tarshis did on Dr. Drew’s HLN show of targeting White women is egoistic. America as a whole detests interracial dating and marriage, so when it comes to claim of interracial rape, the red flag is waved and the angry bull comes charging.

Emmett Louis Till lost his life over an alleged encounter with a White woman allegation 1 a mere whistle that was likely never intended for the woman in earshot, if it ever really happened.

Mothers teach your daughters that men are wired differently. For them, sex is sex, it’s a physical act. Women equate sex with love. When the wires are crossed and the signals are mixed, it’s not OK to redefine consensual sex for rape when we are disappointed with the outcome, the promise isn’t fulfilled and you’re holding a grudge.

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