Man Lessons: The Value of an Apology
“Never apologize for something that wasn’t your fault.”
I can still hear my father’s voice as he tapped into his inner Mr. Miyagi, while grooming me into the karate kid that I am today. I appreciated that valuable life lesson, as it’s served me well along the way, particularly as I navigate the sometimes rocky terrain of the entertainment industry.
And while I do my best to never offer an undeserved apology, I’ve come to realize that there is, in fact, one time when you may have to apologize even when you’ve done nothing wrong …
In a relationship.
You see, during the course of a relationship, you may be forced to occasionally back off of your principles, swallow your pride and say I’m sorry — even when you’re right.
Because relationships aren’t strictly viewed through a black-and-white lens. No, there are bits of gray, hints of lavender, and even a speck or two of periwinkle mixed in there for good measure. In layman’s terms, it means that arguments and hurt feelings are often more complicated than the primary issue at hand. For example:
Is it really worth the energy to argue that she overreacted when you left the toilet seat up? Probably not.
And should you really be fighting just because you refused to join in her belief that her co-worker is out to get her? I say no.
In the grand scheme of things, your apology for the “disagreement” will be worth more than you arguing your position in a pointless conversation.
So as much as it hurts me to say, my dad wasn’t completely right … sometimes an undeserved apology is just what the doctor ordered to preserve the sanity of your relationship.
Fly Guy Disclaimer: Now this should only be applied to frivolous arguments. Your apology for “being forced to cheat on her” does not qualify. Understood?
And if don’t know what to specifically apologize for, then you can always employ the strategy of this hilarious video where men apologize to women for everything.
Check it out.
**DeWayne Rogers is the author of The Fly Guy Chronicles … love advice will never be the same.