The Journey of an Independent Black Woman
I see you … I’ve actually been watching you for quite some time now. And from where I’m sitting, I still get blown away by the way you live, move and operate.
You’re an independent black woman.
The main thing that I’ve gathered from my observations is that you work harder than most. From the time the sun rises until it sets again, your main mission in life is to turn every one of your dreams into a reality.
I respect that.
I’ve even noticed on the days that I mentally check out—where I’m more concerned about the score of the game or the way those jeans fit on you—that you just keep plugging away, intently focused on being the independent woman God created you to be.
I love that about you.
And I know it’s tough dealing with men who never seem to respect, appreciate, or understand your drive. I also understand how frustrating it must be for the world to expect you to lower your standards simply because there’s this perceived shortage of good men. I get that. And if the tables were turned, I’d feel disrespected, underappreciated and misunderstood as well.
In fact, I wish I could deal you a new hand. One where the cards were stacked in your favor, and every man, woman, boy and girl honored your drive and success as much as I do. To be fair though, there are plenty of other men like me … men who want their woman to achieve just as much as them; men who aren’t threatened by a woman’s success and genuinely enjoy seeing her thrive in the spotlight; and men who prefer an equal partner over a cheerleader.
That’s what I want for you … that’s what I believe you deserve.
The only problem is that you’ve become so disenchanted with the dating world that it becomes hard for you to see the true intentions of these men when they approach you.
You automatically think we’re like Tony who was threatened by your success.
Or Carlos, who didn’t mind your success, but wasn’t exactly supportive either.
Or maybe like Doug, who was lazy and just wanted to see what he could get from you.
It’s because of those past experiences that you choose to keep the rest of us at arm’s length. And we’ll work to prove that we’re different, but that rarely works because you’re so set in your ways. Eventually, we just move on to someone else, and the cycle continues.
But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore …
If I could somehow touch your heart through these words in a way that would forever give you hope that true love exists for you, then God give me the strength to do so.
Every word and phrase constructed here bleeds with my desire to see you happy and fulfilled in love.
I don’t want you to be less independent … I just want you to be more open.
More open to love …
More open to endless possibilities …
More open to the idea that I actually exist …
Who am I?
I’m the man that’s ready to love you just the way that you are. But until you decide that you’re ready to believe that I exist, then you’ll never see me.
So open your eyes Ms. Independent Woman.
**DeWayne Rogers is the author of The Fly Guy Chronicles; love advice will never be the same.