Mary J. Blige: In addition to importing Mary into their program, they have to import … a new toilet set as well. She’s not taking chances on the hornet’s nests of bacteria and other foul matter that may be awaiting her when she had to take care of business. Moreover, the Queen of Hip Hop soul demands total and absolute privacy, replete with a “Do Not Disturb” sign punctuated with 26 exclamation points.

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