Jill Scott’s latest tweets have sparked heated debates across the blogosphere. Last week, she tweeted about the possibility of getting involved in an open relationship. Hundreds of her fans commented and Chilli responded by tweeting, “Hell to the naw to open relationships.”

On Aug. 5, Jill Scott questioned women who get involved with gay men or those who appear feminine. Scott tweeted, “Just saw a couple on the plane. Somebody tell me why do straight women marry gay men? Break it down?”

Although some of Scott’s followers were offended by her tweet, her question speaks to the perception of there being a lack of quality men for black women to marry.  The Washington Post reported that 70 percent of black women have never been married.

The possibility of being alone can cause some women to ignore intuition when selecting a mate. Many individuals in the black community wondered why Star Jones and Mo’Nique chose to marry Al Reynolds and Sidney Hicks, respectively. Although there was no substantial proof that Reynolds or Hicks was gay, their sexuality was in question because they carried themselves as emasculated men.

Are black women lowering their standards when it comes to relationships, or is Jill Scott wrong about her hypothesis? –amir shaw

  • oh…

    How does she know about this couple on the plane? Did she ask them was he gay? Like i feel like Jill assumes to much about everything she tweets about. I love her music, but i don’t care for her so much when she starts talking. There are men out here, who can’t win for anything with everybody assuming that everything they do is gay. I guess maybe she saw something in him that we couldnt since she was on the plane, but ever since she mad the comment about her friend marrying a white women and she was upset over it, I can’t dig her.

  • oh…

    How does she know about this couple on the plane? Did she ask them was he gay? Like i feel like Jill assumes to much about everything she tweets about. I love her music, but i don’t care for her so much when she starts talking. There are men out here, who can’t win for anything with everybody assuming that everything they do is gay. I guess maybe she saw something in him that we couldnt since she was on the plane, but ever since she mad the comment about her friend marrying a white women and she was upset over it, I can’t dig her.

  • oh…

    How does she know about this couple on the plane? Did she ask them was he gay? Like i feel like Jill assumes to much about everything she tweets about. I love her music, but i don’t care for her so much when she starts talking. There are men out here, who can’t win for anything with everybody assuming that everything they do is gay. I guess maybe she saw something in him that we couldnt since she was on the plane, but ever since she mad the comment about her friend marrying a white women and she was upset over it, I can’t dig her.

    • jabriel malik shaheed

      in all honesty its ways to identify someone hat is homosexual, I chose to use the word homosexual instead of gay because gay actually means happy and i dont see how happy is being exemplified through a sick and disturbed behavior, how ever I can agree with  with ms scott on that , and my response would be, i believe sister marry homosexual men because of many reason one being that their are a lot of single women out that wants to be married and they are lowering their standards and trust me there are some strong good black men out here, like for intance in the nation of I SLAM   if the sister are loooking for a good man thats one place to start  but the sister are not ready for that.  secondly some sister feel as if though  they can change that brother from that abnormal behavior and finally some sister are just desperate to be with a man by any means necessary.

      • http://www.facebook.com/gamaclub David Gama

        Nice

  • oh…

    How does she know about this couple on the plane? Did she ask them was he gay? Like i feel like Jill assumes to much about everything she tweets about. I love her music, but i don’t care for her so much when she starts talking. There are men out here, who can’t win for anything with everybody assuming that everything they do is gay. I guess maybe she saw something in him that we couldnt since she was on the plane, but ever since she mad the comment about her friend marrying a white women and she was upset over it, I can’t dig her.

  • oh…

    How does she know about this couple on the plane? Did she ask them was he gay? Like i feel like Jill assumes to much about everything she tweets about. I love her music, but i don’t care for her so much when she starts talking. There are men out here, who can’t win for anything with everybody assuming that everything they do is gay. I guess maybe she saw something in him that we couldnt since she was on the plane, but ever since she mad the comment about her friend marrying a white women and she was upset over it, I can’t dig her.

  • Lovejonesn69

    I think black women do lower their standards. I always tell my female friends that they should expect more in order to get more. Don’t settle…never settle.

  • Baddseedd70

    Ah yes the mythical shortage of black men…the truth is there is no shortage.  Black women are looking for a particular man, 6’5, chocolate, bald, Denzel voice and Terrell Owens bank account.  They’re not looking for civil service employees, carpenters, teachers etc..  Sistas are brainwashed by the media as to what a good man looks like and they have unrealistic criteria based on what they have to offer. If you’re a woman who’s never been in a gym, has a child out of wed lock and is a clerk in corporate america…what doctor, lawyer or music mogul wants you…wake up and play your position or improve it. 

    • Originaldeeva2

      That description sounds like your preference.  It certainly doesn’t include most women’s choice in Black men.  

      • Baddseedd70

        The “profile” of the black man I gave is a generic frame..ie the wealth, the physical and the social class.  Its not about MY experience its about what women say when you get granular about they’re selection process.   When women dialogue, its in vague terms..”girl you know the type”, ” you know how men are”, ” he’s one of those”.  and the other women never follow up for detail. So you may not know exactly what the issue is with the man, if there really is one. I have several female friends across the country and the 1’s claiming no good black men all fit the same mold. 

    • Gj

      SteveHarvey was on Oprah Winfrey talking about relationships.  This lady about 5’3, 250#’s stood up and said that she wanted a guy who was intelligent, had his own place, good job and in good physical shape.  Steve told her that like attacts like.  Was she in position to attract a man in good physical shape?  You are soooo on point.  Steve told her to get to a gym and a nutritionist to look like what she wanted to attaract.

  • Kerline

    Yea I’m moving towards the belief that individuals with homophobic notions and/or tendencies are suppressing or projecting an underevaluated aspect of their esteem and/or sexuality. Sexuality is a fluid concept to be left to each individual for personal context. I love Jill’s musicianship but please give men, black men a break. For years, centuries we have created all these definitions to what being a “man” is & what “men” should look & act like. News flash, those definitions have contributed to insensitive, chauvinistic, egotistical “men” who are afraid of being labeled “gay”. There are tons of good men out there. Its the law of attraction…fix you & I promise you will attract your equal.

  • Vandellish

    Women who
    marry or date ‘sugary’ types of men share a personality trait that prefers an assumed
    safe or harmless choice. They know other women most likely wouldn’t be as attracted
    to this type of man which means he is less likely to stray. I also believe these
    women can be/are genuinely attracted to these men (though not always turned on)
    because of shared interests in entertainment, fashion and lifestyle choices or
    just the art of conversation where so many of us straight men are
    underdeveloped. It’s also possible that these women have a few masculine
    characteristics of their own and don’t necessarily seek those in a partner.

    The top
    reason, IMO, is that these women have a fear of being completely invested in a
    person because of the possibility of the whole thing going bad. It’s like the
    old Cash Money and Marvelous song ‘Find an Ugly Woman’ that went: ‘pretty girls
    will have you crying the blues/but when an ugly girl leaves it ain’t nuthin to
    lose/’. Swap out ‘pretty girls’ with alpha males and ‘ugly girl’ with softie
    guy and it’s basically the same philosophy.

    On another
    note, why doesn’t Jill just get herself a syndicated talk show with all of
    these relationship centered tweets she’s spewing? She could call it ‘Jill
    Spills’ and have ‘Male Bash Mondays’ and ‘Freaky Fridays’ or something. lol

  • eternalivy

    She has a VALID POINT…..sorry…….It’s the truth! And to address oh’s post…….with HIV/AIDS up 50% in men who sleep with men, and then take it back to their so-called clueless women, I think it’s a serious PANDEMIC that needs to be talked about and addressed!!! But most of all, the men that like men need to be more TRUTHFUL with themselves and the women they are using to keep up their FRONTS and take responsiblity and stop FLIP-FLOPPIN’ like FLAPSJACKS, stop being TOTALLY TRIFLING, and at least USE A DAMN CONDOM……just sickening……

  • http://www.facebook.com/tnmoore Tiffany N. Moore

    People forget that she is human and has her opinions.  To each its own and respect the fact that on these social networking sites you are open to everyone’s opinion.  You don’t have to agree, just respect the fact that they can have one.

    Also it’s true that we do lower our standards at times because there is a lack of good black men out there.  Now I am not saying that there are none but it’s slim pickings for men & women if you choose to only date black which many of us do.

    I have also seen women with men who I know are gay and all I can do is shake my head and say God Bless em’

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elizabeth-Blackman/1022558833 Elizabeth Blackman

    If youre a straight woman marry a straight man

    I would just date for the rest of my life, or just be content on living alone.
    We all must love god first ourselves next an so on.
    God blessed me to meet my husband, 13 years ago today. He propose to me, I have 7 grown children, 10 Grandchildren, that did’nt stop him, we both knew what we wanted and did not settle for less. Thank God for second times arround.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elizabeth-Blackman/1022558833 Elizabeth Blackman

    If youre a straight woman marry a straight man

    I would just date for the rest of my life, or just be content on living alone.
    We all must love god first ourselves next an so on.
    God blessed me to meet my husband, 13 years ago today. He propose to me, I have 7 grown children, 10 Grandchildren, that did’nt stop him, we both knew what we wanted and did not settle for less. Thank God for second times arround.

  • jabriel malik shaheed

    tiffany you are right everyone is entitled to their own opinion and ms scott is just asking a question.

  • Jill is cool with me

    @Oh:disqus …Sure she probably made an assumption as most people do. But I think the core of her posting is the question…why do women marry men who are gay?  It happens more than we think…certainly with Cole Porter and Angela Landsbury, Terry Macmillan, and even Juanita Bynum.  I believe that Jill is looking for happiness as we all are and being artistic, she’s contemplating the boundaries too, much like some women ponder whether or not their “standards” are too high.  We’ve all done that at least once.  Regarding her being mad over her friend marrying a white woman, I think she’s entitled to her feelings just as much as a member of her family might be. I think it’s ridiculous for everyone to expect all black people to be accepting of whatever, when there are absolutely some white people who feel the exact same way. The truth of the matter is that it is entirely possible to not necessarily be prejudiced but not believe in the racial intermingling, especially older people in ANY race.  Jill tweets what most people do on twitter….whatever comes to her mind. I’m certain she’s not up trying to consider every angle prior to tweeting.  She obviously thought that her tweets would be read by true fans who realize that she’s a person in as much as she’s an entertainer.  Sorry Jill, no dice…everyone takes everything the wrong way now. You’re no longer entitled to your opinion unless it passes the PC -test.

    On to the question…Sure more and more women are marrying gay men, some knowingly. Can’t say why, I do believe Black women are relaxing their standards trying to find suitable men to date/marry.  Truth is, after college, the chasm gets wider and wider. As men and women achieve more individually, they both become less and less tolerant. In the end, in a society where so many things are deemed acceptable and commonplace that everyone’s compasses are off.

  • Avril Cole

    I saw this question on some of the top rated gay sites but I can’t find a good reason for doing this. It is a known fact that gay men look great, most of them, but why to marry one if you can’t take advantage of him……because he’s a good “best friend”? that sucks.

  • Squidlee81

    Ok everybody is assuming themselves, from the article she doesn’t specify what the race of the couple is. Everybody saying “she…black this…black that” when SHE in fact didn’t say anything about black, the writer of this article made it a black issue. And everybody is entitled to their own opinion and if you don’t like it don’t read it or follow that person on twitter S.A.T. (simple as that)

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  • Judy

    Madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

    Maybe Black-American women should open themselves up to being with men of other African heritages: Trinidadians, Jamaicans, Nigerians, Cubans, Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, Ghanians, Senegalese. Many of these men come from more stable family backgrounds where the men are not always in jail or absent. That makes a big difference.

    I mean even a good white or Asian man, as long as he loves you. Look beyond where you’ve been searching and you’ll find what you are looking for. Love comes in all colors. Look out for yourself and your own happiness. All this “black love” talk is a myth created by black men so they can make us sit and wait for them while they screw us over.

  • He knock

    Black women aren’t married because of feminism. They play the “independent woman” card which turns men off. They sleep around & only attract dogs. And they wonder why they aren’t married