Dumbest. Crime. Ever: The Wooden iPad Scam
You may think this is an internet hoax because it defies logic on so many levels.
But no, rollingout.com reader, this is an actual crime that took place Aug. 31 according to the official police reports on The Smoking Gun.
Here’s the scenario: A woman is leaving a fast-food establishment when she is approached by two shadowy business men.
Boy, is this her lucky day! The two businessmen announce that they have the sale of the century for her: a spanking new iPad still wrapped in the — err — FedEx box and she could have it for only $300.
Not so fast, the 22-year-old woman knew a good deal could get even better if she haggled a bit — as these two fellows were bartering in a parking lot, and not at an Apple retail store — and so she did haggle, producing only $180 for the must-have computer.
Sold! The men gave her the iPad, hopped into their off-white four-door Impala (complete with missing rims), and disappeared into the ether.
The woman reached her home only to discover that the spanking new iPad was actually a decorated plank of wood.
Now, this is usually where the scam ends. The scam artist takes off with the money and the mark, or target of the scam, realizes that they have been had, and so they just consider the loss as a lesson learned. A typical person would be too ashamed to admit that they’ve bought a plank of wood for $180, and would just melt into oblivion to save face.
However, this consumer of “hot” electronics merchandise did no such thing!
Angry that her hot iPad purchase was a scam, she reported the crime to the police and took the plank of wood with her.
The police detectives could not believe the time and care that the criminals took to decorate the plank of wood by carving the Apple icon into it, painting it black, and carving several other icons and apps into it.
Truth be told, the plank of wood scam would only work if the mark didn’t take the wood out of the box and examine it, so why would they decorate the wood only to tuck it into the box and pray that she doesn’t open it in their presence?
If nothing else, the consumer’s scam is going viral, and the scam artists’ days of selling wooden iPads out of their rim-less Impala may be numbered.