Politics

Schwarzenegger Scandal … Should a Love Child Terminate Your Marriage?

Tue., May. 17, 2011 4:51 PM EDT
by Zondra Hughes

Arnold Shwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger cheated, and reportedly that resulted in a love child.

We know that some men will cheat, regardless of how good you look, or how well you cook, some men will have a taste for something new — and will pursue it.

Infidelity is one level of betrayal, a slight, though painful, can for the most part, be overcome if the two parties want to salvage the relationship.

But does this rule of thumb apply when there’s a love child involved?

Gina B.

“Question whether or not the relationship is worth keeping,” says relationship columnist Gina B. “It’s one thing to know that your man is cheating, it’s quite a difference to have a walking, breathing, reminder of it alive on this earth that he’s going to have to tend to for the next 18 years.”

And, of course, where there’s a baby, there’s a baby’s momma.

“The person that he cheated with is going to have to be in his life, and you have to figure out if that’s something that you can deal with. I couldn’t,” Gina B. states. “You have to be open to her, when the kid’s a little baby — that is if the man wants to be a part of the child’s life — the baby’s mother has to come into play, somehow. Most women are not going to drop their infant off with someone and not know who the child is spending time with.”

Relationship expert Tiffany D. Sanders, Ph.D., of Sanders & Associates says the relationship can be salvaged, but there must be consequences for the infidelity.

Tiffany Sanders, Ph.D.

“Seek counseling from a licensed therapist so that they can help you to process those emotions, and remove the cloudiness that may be in your head at that moment, in order to sort out the best approach,” Dr. Sanders advises. “Recognize that if the wife doesn’t apply some kind of consequence to this sort of behavior, such as expressing that frustration, requiring counseling, or maybe petitioning leaving the marriage, that communicates a signal that the sort of behavior was tolerated.”

Turning the other cheek to infidelity can also be hazardous to your health, Dr. Sanders adds.

“One client was cheated on four separate times, and each time she kept pushing it under the rug, never addressing it,” she states. “And the last time, once she really addressed it, she had an emotional breakdown because she discovered that she had been infected with herpes.”

Schwarzenegger, a Republican and Shriver, a Democrat, were one of the most famous power couples on the planet. Shriver has since moved to dissolve the union.

Tags: , , , , , ,

  • Mkdangerously

     Technically, The Man is at Fault because he was in the Relationship! It’s was his Obligation to his Relationship…If the woman he Cheated with knew of the Girlfriend/Wife then it may be to some considered Morally Wrong (Myself Included) Howe…ver most folk Especially Cheaters or those that are aware of the Cheat Clearly don’t Have/Could Care Less About Morals…A Cheater, Someone who is in a Committed Relationship and goes outside of said Relationship for whatever reason/s and engages in Relations with another for His/Her Own reason/s! Cheating is a Selfish Act and it Normally has ……Nothing to do with the Person that is being Cheated on! It is also a Cowardly act to say the least… If your mate is NOT doing it for you like he/she use to, then address the situation/s with your mate and if things don’t get better then Remove yourself from that Relationship and be with Whoever you want. Blaming the WIFE/HUSBAND doesn’t justify CHEATING! But you have to be objective .Has anyone ever considered that many celebrity wives know their husbands cheat and are ok with it because of the benefits they reap. Even some non rich and famous couples actually allow this to happen. Monogamy is to a certain point is fadi…ng but many people are not openly talking about this.Also, people cheat for different reasons. Yes, I said people. Many times infidelity happens after the couple is already distant but remain in the relationship because the relationship itself is an institution. Children and finances also hold them together. Many of these couples are already not having sex and there is no emotional bond. This happens quite often with couples.3)Morals are not standard. Look at our society. EVERYONE does what ever they want. There is no uniformity in anything. We live in an individualistic selfish society. Good luck getting people to act according to one code of ethics. Human beings have long gone the direction that their genetalia have taken them and we have a society that promotes free sexual choice and expects people to curb their behavior when they get married. If you have been conditioned to be sexually free your entire life, it would seem difficult to tame that just because you sign some legal documents with someone   ….. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/zondra.hughes Zondra Hughes

      Mkdangerously,

      I am so grateful for your analysis:”If you have been conditioned to be sexually free your entire life, it would seem difficult to tame that just because you sign some legal documents with someone.”

      Deep perspective.  

  • Katesonar

    There are so many aspects to this story besides just the existance of a ”love child” (a term I loathe).  That the mother worked for the family in their home for the last 20 yrs (basically a family member), 10 of those after having the child (whom she was passing off as her husband’s).  That Maria not only defended Arnold against all of the allegations when he was running for office seven yrs ago, when he knew about and was supporting the child and must have known he could never win if it was public, but that she didn’t even want him to run for office (reportedly) and this required her to leave her job, which she always prided herself on (she certainly never needed to work a paying job). 

    I guess it’s possible that if he had come clean when he first got this woman pregnant, they could have written this woman a check and sent her on her way, and since their kids were still small and her parents were still alive, they would have figured something out.  I think this was just the last straw and such a serious and protracted deception for his own benefit.  If he was eligible to run for president, I don’t think this would have come to light.

    • http://www.facebook.com/zondra.hughes Zondra Hughes

      Katesonar,

      Wow. The sacrifices some public couples make are so unbelievable! 
      Thank you for your comment. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/zondra.hughes Zondra Hughes

      Katesonar,

      Wow. The sacrifices some public couples make are so unbelievable! 
      Thank you for your comment. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/zondra.hughes Zondra Hughes

      Katesonar,

      Wow. The sacrifices some public couples make are so unbelievable! 
      Thank you for your comment. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/zondra.hughes Zondra Hughes

      Katesonar,

      Wow. The sacrifices some public couples make are so unbelievable! 
      Thank you for your comment. 

  • tami

    I’m married and if my hubby had an outside child by some lady he is outta here! If I was to bring home a child that wasnt my hubbies, you already know most men would leave too.Its still that ol saying about men can cheat but women cant. I can forgive a lot of thing but you putting me in danger by having unprotected sex with someone else is a huge no no!

    • http://www.facebook.com/zondra.hughes Zondra Hughes

      Right on, Tami, right on! 

  • ladyjane

    Gone!