Recently, I received an advice email from a Black woman who was dating a White man who was treating her good, wanted the same things out of life as her, and was ready to settle down and have a family. The issue? She felt guilty about betraying black men. She said that Black men have it so hard in society and that she assumed she should try to improve the life of one instead of turning her back on them as a whole. Yet, she had dated Black men her entire life and none of the relationships had panned out.
I told her that she needed to pursue that relationship and keep her options open, like many Black men do. It does not make you a traitor against the Black race to date outside of it. Love is love and a lot of people will never find it because of the same kind of narrowly focused dating pool. If two people like one another, are compatible and the chemistry is there, skin color should not even be a factor.
I am not saying that there is anything wrong with dating exclusively within your race. What I am saying is that people should not allow others to dictate their personal choices. It is disturbing that we still have so much racism in this day and age when society is blended and most people are not “pure” anything. We are all members of the human race, we all bleed the same, and we can also love the same. I have had many friends and relatives find their soul mates in other races. It hasn’t changed their commitment to their own races, it has not changed their cultural outlooks, and it has not changed them … except for the fact that they are extremely happy in their established relationships.
Have you ever dated outside of your race? Have you married outside of your race? How did your friends and relatives react to it? Did their thoughts even matter to you?
Do you have an issue with interracial dating? If so, why? Do you feel like it is lowering your chances of finding true love? Are you restricting yourself to your own race? What factors have influenced that outlook?