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Is there a double standard when it comes to porn?

black couple

Photo credit: George Allen Penton / Shutterstock.com

Dear Zane,

I watch “a lot” of porn. I watch it on my phone, my tablet and my computer. I watch it on free sites and will sometimes purchase scenes from this bondage site. Some days when I am out of school, I’ll sit and watch it for hours while I constantly masturbate. The thing is: I’m female.

I work and go to school and it has not progressed to the point where I don’t show up for my shifts and I am not falling behind in school because of it. As for sex, I have this “friends with benefits” situation that satisfies my needs. It is just that I love watching porn!

My FWB had no idea that I watched it until last night when I suggested that we watch some together. He was very surprised that a woman would even watch porn. He made me feel like I was crazy for liking it, implying that I was abnormal or something. Do men get offended when women like porn? Do they feel some kind of way?

Signed,

I Love Porn

Dear I Love Porn,

There is truly no way to fit the billions of men who inhabit this planet into one box. It sounds like your FWB may be immature, inexperienced, or insecure and possibly a combination of all three. The bottom line is that he is not your man; he is someone you have sex with. Therefore, he is not in any position to judge.

As long as it is not messing with your ability to do the other things you need to do in order to make ends meet, I would not stress over it too much. However, if you are still caught up like this in a year or two, or it gets to the point where you can’t function properly, you may need to seek help. If men can be addicted to porn, there is no reason women can’t suffer from the same addiction. I am not getting that vibe here.

It sounds like you are going through a phase and your hormones are in overdrive. Women go through various stages in life and you sound rather young. There is nothing wrong with watching other people pleasure each other. You may be a voyeur and there may come a time when you desire to watch others get down with each other in person. A lot of people are into that.

To answer your question: I don’t feel that most men have an issue with women watching porn. In fact, a lot of men purchase or view the material to watch with their wives or girlfriends, in hopes that their own women will be inspired. It is not all about men watching it alone and self-pleasuring. Some have a different agenda.

But your current FWB sounds like he may be intimidated by how other men are sized or putting it down in porn films. However, since you can cease dealing with him at any moment, he doesn’t get a vote in the situation. Good luck, but I don’t see an issue.

Blessings,

Zane



1 Comment

  1. Rainmaker on October 29, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    Many men love a woman who likes porn. More fun, conversation and ideas to keep the action going. Absolutely!