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Why so many hot women can’t get a hot date


Photo credit: Felix Mizioznikov /

Not a week, or even day, goes by when I don’t receive emails on top of emails from attractive, successful and stable women who can’t seem to get a date to save their lives in their local area. Yet, many of them have men trying to pick them up on the Internet all day, every day. Recently, I received an email from a woman who wanted to know why men were all over her online but no one ever approached her in real time.

It is actually quite simple, in my opinion. People are more apt to do and say things online that they would never do or say in person. When they are on dating sites where people are, without a doubt, seeking companionship,  that makes men even more bold and brazen. In person, not so much. Men don’t want to face rejection if they approach a woman who might be in a relationship with someone else. Men don’t want to approach a woman who turns out not to be attracted to them. Men would rather go through galleries of photos on the Internet and pick and choose which women to try to engage in conversation instead of taking random shots out in the streets. Sad but true.

It is the only thing that makes sense, if you think about it. Obviously, it is not the appearances of the women if men are hitting them up right and left on the Internet. It is all about being lazy to some degree. They can sit on their laptop or phone and text or inbox a half-dozen women at the same time instead of putting time and effort into just one at a time. They can see pictures of the women in all kinds of angles and shots to see if they are truly feeling them like that. They can rest assured that the women must at least feel like they are worthy of some time if they are texting or inboxing them. It makes life so easy but I am not sure if it makes it more fun.

Women who cannot get dates in real life need to go out and do the things that they enjoy and be around people with similar interests. One thing is for sure: men are not going to fall into their laps at home while they are surfing the Internet. Everyone needs to take some time out to smell the actual air and the actual flowers.


  1. cupcake333 on October 30, 2015 at 11:02 am

    this article know the problem but dont know the solution lol .. im sorry but men are just not into hair , pretty skin , its more of best body now days. versus 23 years ago .. things are changing with the internet for one even men in relationships are not focuse on surviving they get back on the net surfing while married while dating . and thise pose a hugh gigantic decline in relationhips if this keeps up population will deminish. men dont marry no mre they date , too many choices for some ugly short, dumb , babymoma drama dude to pick from. they got choices now and since customary the man makes the first move this leaves females at the disadvantage period . men struggle with find a lady to date on a steady .some claim they found a husband on line thats a lie . hardly anyone gonna marry off line . cause that person have sex afew times dinner and few outtings and hope right back to the net , for something hotter . .they got whats called chronic daters , they just want to date date sex sex .., until they catch a desease then they sit down somewhere . scanning on the computor is no big deal . but you need to focus. and that is what men dont want to do . it was already hard for women to find mate . theres these booty call sites too , like adultdatefinders .. they are hot for sexual hookups .. everyone know whats up .. you sex and go home . putting dildos out of business too. i find texting to be a game too annoying . people can hide many sins on a text phone . if someone text you upon initial contact erunnnn for the hills honey

  2. Larry Syid Wright on October 30, 2015 at 7:09 pm

    The bad rap on Black men. We have the highest prison rate, unemployment rate, murdered by cops rate, black on black crime rate and probably… the highest rate of our black women looking down us. I think I read an Opra interview saying 70% of the black women in America are single. If 44.5% of the black men are in prison and the other 20% does not supposedly live up to our women high standards and 6% are just lazy this is what you get. It’s very hard for a career woman to accept a man, a good man who makes far less than she does. On the flip side of that maybe both sides are seeking more relationships outside of their race.

  3. JuliaBean on November 1, 2015 at 1:24 pm

    I am a black women who always end up dating white men without trying, I’ve dated one black man in my whole entire life, he was studying engineering and wore glasses. I remember him clearly, light brown, glasses, short curly hair and looked like a young Lester Holt. He moved away so that was the end of that. When I hear people whine about black women’s standards are too high, I merely laugh. What is so bad about not wanting to date a Micheal Jordan looking ex con who has children everywhere? That statement is offensive to black men? Are you claiming that the ex con baby daddy population is so low among yourselves that a standard as such is too high?

    I can’t even relate to most black men, I hate the way they look at me with a passion. They only see my features and try to peg me as mixed or Latina even though I am not. Sadly, I know the only reason black men approach on me is because I look “acceptable” and they think “I am not black”. Therefore, I feel a wave of disgust when one approaches me. My current boyfriend is white, again, he is just awesome, he is not a thug and has a job and talks about feelings and calls me dorky names like “sweetie” and doesn’t find my degree emasculating because he has them too! Black men yell at us because I don’t look half bad, they try to talk to me when I am holding hands with him and one yelled out of car that “I would come running home someday”. Not likely for these reasons, my point is, if I can find a white guy to meet the minimum standards of no children, degree and lack of record then why do black men act as if women who actually want to date them are asking for rare things. Do they think they all have records? That is disturbing. Go to a local university, stare at the black men there. No not the brainless sports players who do have records or will soon but the ones in STEM. Do you think they have records? Probably not. How pathetic. Even I can admit some black men are not failures but they are not my preference so I can’t make it work, even though Lester Holmes , Dwayne Johnson (he is not “black” but he is hot but then again I don’t look “black” so who cares) and Shemar Moore are hotties, anyone who resembles Shaq or Chris Brown is ugly and more than likely ghetto trash.

  4. 685196 on December 13, 2015 at 6:18 pm

    If every time the author uses the word men, SHE used the word human. She’d improve her article. (Humans) Men don’t want to face rejection if they approach a (human) who might be in a relationship with someone else. (humans) don’t want to approach a woman who turns out not to be attracted to them. (humans) would rather go through galleries of photos on the Internet and pick and choose which (human) to try to engage in conversation instead of taking random shots out in the streets.