How to cut emotional ties with your ex

Photo credit: Shutterstock
Photo credit: Shutterstock

In my own personal experience, I’ve struggled on how to cut ties with an ex, because I was still emotionally attached. We often feel this way because our partners have met and satisfied our needs and when they are no longer a part of our lives, we tend to feel empty or even lost.

You start to reminisce about all the wonderful things about your ex, forgetting about the things that drove you away. On the other hand, you may even resent or even fight with them, long after the relationship has ended. However, holding onto your ex in a positive or negative way is not healthy. In order to be available for someone new, you have to release yourself from the past. Additionally, you’re wasting your good energy living in the past, instead of focusing on the present.

If you have not cut ties with someone from your past, you should be able to identify the need that you still want them to fulfill. Perhaps you miss their sweet kisses, their strength, beauty, brains or sexiness. Whatever is missing, you are probably trying to find in someone else. The trick is to understand that if you can see these attributes in someone else, then you must possess them in yourself.

Once you have identified these needs, you will not feel so dependent on your ex. If you are still feeling angry or bitter, you will also need to forgive them. When letting go, we must move to a place where we love our ex enough to let them go. Love never takes prisoners — or holds onto any attachments or needs. If you truly love someone, you won’t stop them from moving forward in their lives.

At the end of the day, we are letting go of our need for someone else to make us happy and instead finding love and happiness within. As complex as this may sound, it is this that creates successful relationships.

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