Does casual sex scare you?

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Photo credit: Rocketclips, Inc. /

Casual sex: let’s first define and understand what it is. To put it simply, casual sex is a term given to sexual intercourse between two consenting adults, who are not involved in a relationship or have any feelings whatsoever towards each other. It is driven more towards a fulfillment of one’s physical needs rather than emotional ones. As a result, casual sex presently includes a number of new NSA (no strings attached) relationships including Friends with Benefits (FWB), emotionless sex and one-night stands. The truth of the matter is, casual sex is common nowadays, which is triggered by a late-night phone call or text, a booty call.

Casual sex has also proven to be an effective way to help one get over a former relationship – better known as rebound sex.  The temptation of having a fling can be strong, as casual sex is the subject of many fantasies. But, is it for you? Obviously, a one-night stand or brief sexual relationship with someone is an option for a single person, but it’s probably off the table for anyone in a committed relationship. So, consider your status before having casual sex. This will prevent a myriad of relationship and trust issues.

If you are single, then you should still consider whether it is right for you to engage in casual sex. First, how well do you know yourself? Are you confident and do you have high self-esteem? If you have self-confidence and know why you make the decisions you do, then you probably can have casual sex without having a meltdown (afterwards). At the same time, be prepared for the other person not to call you or he/she may even completely ignore you after your encounter. Even if you tell yourself it’s just for fun, be ready to potentially experience some hurt feelings, and make sure you are able to deal with them. If casual sex and one-night stands happen pretty often for you, then consider why that might be – are you avoiding facing issues in your life? Are you satisfying your emotional needs with sex? It is very easy for addicts to rationalize their behavior. If you feel like you’re making excuses, get help for sexual addiction and definitely do not neglect your physical health. It goes without saying that you should always use condoms and other forms of protection when you have multiple partners or don’t know the person well with whom you are having sex.

While sex has many benefits to both sides, perks can be diminished by chemical reactions. When a man has an orgasm, the pleasure hormone dopamine is released, which is addictive – like a drug.

Additionally, women release oxytocin, which increases their empathy, bonding and is the culprit for women falling in love right after sex. Oxytocin can also confuse women by making them believe their partner is a long-term cornerstone, rather than a short-term fling. This also makes it emotionally difficult for a woman to have casual sex.

Sure, casual sex may seem like it’s an attractive option, with its promise of excitement and adventure, but without the use of the proper precautions it can turn out to be quite harmful for the parties involved. Additionally, having sex with someone is comparable to having sex with everyone the other person has been with, which opens the disease floodgates. However, we are all products of sex and always will be, which is why rushing into sex can set a bad precedent for the rest of the relationship.  Knowing someone better alleviates tension related to performance expectations and self-esteem issues. Time also eases awkwardness and can ward off dangerous and unwarranted situations. People can become possessive and obsessive, and this can lead to stalking and abuse. With that being said, a good rule to abide by is if you are not absolutely sure, then you absolutely should not do it.

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