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This is getting ridiculous

Photo credit: Volt Collection /

Photo credit: Volt Collection /

Day after day after day, I receive advice emails from women who are in the most ridiculous of situations with men. Often the men are at least 10-25 years their senior, still living from pillar to post, but their sex game is so strong, the women are delusional. The women believe that they can change the men for the better. Um, no, that is not going to happen. Men in their late 30s and up are settled in their ways. The only person who can change a man is that man. It sounds romantic and enchanting when we read stories of redemption and “turning over a new leaf” but ultimately, those people changed on their own.

As women, we have a natural desire to be nurturers, and an ambition to save people from their own demons. That is one reason so many women become teachers, social workers, nurses, doctors and therapists. We want to rescue the masses and feel like we are making a difference. But here is the thing: we cannot continue to fix others without first fixing ourselves.

There is something wrong if a woman allows herself to be openly and continuously mistreated by a man. I am talking being cursed out, pushed around, cheated on, and used for money. Something within these women makes them believe they are not worthy of better treatment. It is likely tied to self-esteem issues. Poor self-esteem is the underlying cause for the majority of negative experiences women go through. It is as simple as that. If I could create a magical pill, it would be one to enhance self-esteem.

Meanwhile, if you are a woman reading this today and you know in your heart that you are not happy in your current situation, make it your goal to become the change you want to see in the world. Set an example for your female friends and relatives by insisting on change and improvement from your man. If he cannot or will not make an effort to improve, do what you need to do. Victory begins with you.


  1. cupcake333 on March 15, 2016 at 5:08 pm

    OHHHHH LORD THIS Is TRUE .. . i had to find my self worth too .. i mean i been used abused drug a crackhead or two on my back in my pocket .. lied to people bout the person calling him a good man knowing the drama i endured at home was a mess, i have waited by the phone for a call, while he out partying im home with the kids .. drinking crying more lies and denial.. i honestly got it now … as many times i lied .. now i make up for it by living my life in joy .. no pain .recognizing who is quality in my life who is and letting go immedialy you cant blame yourself for falling in love but you can avoid who you fall for … its so waste of life you only get on .every year is yours … you dont want to devote time energy . to a lier user. fool con man .. men will play you like they see you… from teen boys study the troubled mine of a weak woman .. they are raised by weak women …go figure .. i once date a man with 4 baby momas lol .. i kid you not “””” i thought he was honest when he blamed all them for his leaving them .. lol .. i cryed with him even . … until i got to talk to one of them that is when i woke up he had a patern he get the kids .. then find some excuse to bail.. compaining about child support ”’ evil babymoma .. most those women loved him too .. this is why they bitter .. its no difference in the heart of breaking up with your kids moma then a girl you had no kid with … men cheat breaking up the union .. it happen to me i know this….is true ..
    i left him for cheating … and wanted him back but knew i could not do it . ..
    i had grown up in the mind .. i knew better then to take him back with no money ..due to child support from 2 of the women he had kids with … plus he cheated too ..
    men between the age of 20 to 39 make them put on condom …cause pregnancy and herpes and HIV is like a death sentence your no longer free to enjoy life raising kids by men whom ..rarely want to help you care for them .. you have to learn now be smart or be an idiot with like the lady
    said low self esteem…. by the time your in your 40 you will be hit with a mountain … you will not even want to date no more … but stay positive no relationship is mistake proof… keep your eye open legs closed mind on high alert .. nothing wrong with sex committment is the issue

  2. LA on March 15, 2016 at 6:50 pm

    Great topic!!! Self esteem is something I found later in life.. I am a better women inside and out because of it. I will leave my comment as that, because I can go on and on about how lack of self esteem is killing women spirituality, physically, mentally and so on everyday.. Without it you are an easy target to users and abusers.. okay I’ll stop there..

    • guest on March 17, 2016 at 9:03 am

      You are right. Woman with low self esteem are easy targets for predators disguised as men.