An even swap ain’t no swindle

Photo credit: Diego Cervo /
Photo credit: Diego Cervo /

There was a point in my life when I used to feel sorry for men that I personally knew being used for their money and connections. But recently I have taken a different perspective. They are grown men and at the end of the day, an even swap ain’t no swindle. When a man is going through a midlife crisis and younger, attractive women vie for his attention, it makes him feel good. If they are willing to sleep with him, even though he may be married, all the better. It is a win-win for all until … loose lips sink ships. Eventually, the younger sexpot will tell someone else and, depending on who it is, she divulges the 4-1-1 to, the man might find out that he made the wrong playmate. Or the temptation may be so strong that he doesn’t care when people start talking. Sometimes it is obvious to onlookers without it being spelled out. Again, he is a grown a– man.

Similarly, if a woman struggling with facing an age milestone seeks out quality time and affection from a younger male who clearly has better options, she already knows what time it is. She may want some eye candy on her arm for events and a warm body in her bed to make her feel young again. In exchange, she will give him cash and gifts, possibly even a place to lay up in than his current crash pad. She may let him hold the keys to one of her luxury cars and make him home cooked meals reminiscent of his mother’s or grandmother’s two or three days a week. The entire set up works for her and since she is a grown a– woman, an even swap ain’t no swindle.

All of this is to say: today, many relationships are arrangements based on various stipulations other than emotions. If a younger woman wants an older man to establish her in her career and all she has to do is flirt and tease him with sex, or even the possibility of sex, she is winning. He is in bliss up and until the dirty little secret becomes public knowledge and his wife finds out. Maybe she never will if he keeps it low enough below the radar.

If a younger man wants an older woman to do similar things for him, and she is content with the arrangement, he is winning. Eventually, the woman may start to get caught up in the hype and become emotionally attached. Then there will be issues and her friends who have been watching and whispering behind her back from the sidelines will suddenly start chanting that they knew it would never work.

Do you think that “arranged” and agenda-driven relationships will become the new thing? Or do you believe it has always been the thing?

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