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Women with love PTSD put up partitions

african american woman

Photo credit: Darren Baker /

More and more women are tired of dead-end relationships. They have endured one toxic situation after another. They have taken chance after chance on love, only to end up with feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, and loneliness. It often leads to depression, which can lead to therapy and having to be medicated. Women who started off normal end up swallowing pills to reduce their anxiety, enable them to function in their careers, and give them a chance at getting rest at night.

It almost sounds like these women have been forced to survive in some war-torn country. Like they mistakenly stepped on a land mine and lost several limbs, or sustained massive internal injuries. Like they have post traumatic stress disorder. Many do have PTSD from dealing with men who mistreated them for no damn reason other than that they could. Many of them do have internal injuries in the form of broken hearts, high blood pressure, and stress-related belly fat.

Some continue to rise like a phoenix from the ashes and jump right back into the dating arena, determined to find their soul mates. Others shut down for months, years, decades, or potentially until they take their dying breaths. They put up partitions, often referred to as walls, to protect themselves from further damage. While the men who practically destroyed them move on, they decide that it is better to be alone than to risk the next man actually “finishing them off.”

What results is legions of amazing, compassionate, brilliant and successful women drowning themselves in their careers, in the development of the kids they are forced to raise alone after the fathers go missing, and putting on pretenses that they are fine. They are not fine. They are realists who refuse to be disrespected, disregarded, and disenfranchised another day.

It is sad really because it is a butterfly effect. When decent women put up partitions, decent men cannot get through to them and they often end up alone as well. Either that or they end up going through the motions to meet their physical needs with women who have their own agendas. Love failure has turned more good people into bad than even financial issues. What is the solution? How can this train be put back on the right track? I have not a clue. I can only hope that a sense of decency will start to take precedence over a sense of selfishness one day soon.