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Stepdad Hassahn Phenomenon takes fatherhood to heart; shapes minds and souls

Photo Courtesy: Hassahn Phenomenon

Photo courtesy of Hassahn Phenomenon

Describe what makes being a father special.
Fatherhood is special because I’m directly responsible for shaping the minds, hearts, and souls of two extraordinary young gentleman. I love to teach them, encourage them, protect them, and also invest in their dreams and desires while guiding them to hopefully become amazing human beings that reshape the world.

What is a father’s mission?
The mission of a father is be a leader for his children. A leader not only leads by example but he encourages his children to the best they can be while also making the tough decisions that may not be popular to the children at the time but are the best for them. A father also teaches his sons how to treat a woman and people as a whole. If a father has daughters, it is his responsibility to show his daughters how they deserve to be treated by a man as well as how they treat people in general. A father instills hope, discipline, love and encouragement in a way that uplifts and motivates his children to flourish to the best of their ability.

What would you share with a new father about the importance of reading to his child?
I would encourage any father to read to his children because it is an activity that can be shared, which creates a bond. It also instills at an early age the importance of reading and discovering new ideas and concepts. It also shows the child that it’s never too late to learn anything. Knowledge is powerful and the more you have the better equipped you are at navigating through the world.

How have you established trust with your child?
I have established trust with my sons by keeping my word, staying consistent with love, encouragement, and discipline. I also established trust by showing some vulnerability. I share with them about my accomplishments as well my downfalls. It’s power in showing your children that you are not super human but you can always give a super human effort. Being that I’m a step dad I also never disrespect their biological father. I go to great lengths to explain to them why men and women make certain decisions in their adult life based on the ways they were brought up. We have very deep conversations where I encourage them to express their feelings because too often men are taught to “man up” and not express themselves.

How do you play a role in the education of your children?
I encourage my sons to do well in school but I also encourage them to learn outside of school. I work on their homework with them as well as assist with any projects. I also take them places so they can learn about other communities and ideals outside of their own. Like most young boys, my sons are into sneaker culture, so I am currently teaching them about investing in Nike, adidas, or whatever shoe company so at least if they buy the shoes, they are potentially investing in something they partially own. I also teach them about owning a business versus working for one.

Describe two of the best moments that allow to you push forward because of something your child did or said.
Being that I’m a stepdad, I was very encouraged to continue when I began to see the effect I was having on my sons. When they both started just being normal around me that was a true indicator that a comfort level was established where they just consider me to be their dad. There are various moments but one would be just asking me to chaperon a field trip because they wanted their friends to meet me. Another would be the joy I see on their faces when I praise them. I can tell they want to impress me but I always encourage them to be successful and significant for themselves and to shape the world. No need to impress me, just work hard to be better than the people they were yesterday.

What have you learned about yourself because of your child?
I learned that I’m way more patient than I used to be. I also learned that love has no boundaries unless we put them there. I don’t look at my sons as my stepsons, they are just my sons. In the beginning I was hesitant to show affection but now I’m just myself.

What is your best memory of your father?
The best memory of my father is the day he told me that he knows God exists because he was blessed enough to find a woman like my mother and kids like myself and my two sisters. We were driving to the airport and out of blue he just told me that. I will never forget it because I was headed off to LA, where I used to live. It was a powerful moment for both of us.

Finish the sentences:

Being a father is … empowering.

Give whatever you did not get from your father because … you want your children to be whole as possible.

When I hug my child I feel … blessed.

I teach my child … to improve on the person they were yesterday.

When I see my child my … ambition rises and get extremely motivated to be the best person I can be.

Fathers should … uphold every duty it means to be a father.

I want my child to say my father … helped to shape the person I am and the person I want to become. He wasn’t perfect but he was perfect for me.