OK, ladies so the new year is underway and Valentine’s Day is almost a month away. You told yourself last year that this year would be the year for you to find love. I mean you’ve got the career, the house, the car and all that’s missing in your life is that balance of having a partner to enjoy the fruits of your labor with. Atlanta-based matchmaker and love coach Stacii Jae has five tips for the single successful career woman who is looking to change the box on her availability for 2018. Rolling out sat down with Stacii Jae and got some invaluable advice.
- Tip 1 – Get out of the house! The only man you will meet who will come knocking on the door looking for you is the postman, FedEx man, UPS an or the Jehovah witness man. If you live in an apartment. …. The maintenance man. And that’s it, ladies. You gotta get out the house. Now we can be strategic when we leave the house for the
purposes of positioning ourselves for love. The best place to find love that will understand you is to be out the house doing something you enjoy doing for you. I know you probably don’t know what that is because all you do is work. So think on this: Go back to your childhood. Think of some things you enjoyed doing. Did you enjoy dancing, riding your bike, roller skating, kickball, or maybe arts and crafts. Did you enjoy playing board games or cards, painting,
whatever ….? Ladies, here’s a little secret. Men enjoy women, who enjoy their own lives first. So, start enjoying your life. Also, if you as an adult, love wine, watching sports, hiking … whatever … or if you always wanted to learn something, but never took the time to do it — swimming, line dancing, stepping, fencing, karate, skating — whatever. And If you don’t know what you love to do ’cause all you do its work — look on Groupon and Living Social. There are lots of inexpensive deals that you can try a lot of different things to see what you enjoy. There are also plenty of
great adult social groups online in your city. Find one and just go! Stop being so “adult” and thinking yourself out of everything.
- Tip 2 – Leave the boss “in you” at work. The secret to attracting and keeping a man is not from how much of a boss you are in your career. A man will support your career endeavors and be excited for you on your career journey to success. But that alone won’t connect to his heart. What makes a man fall in love with you is seeing in you — your feminine soul. Start making sure you bring that feminine soul in the room with you when you are out on a date. You will most definitely be different than most of the other women who don’t even think of that before they walk into a date. Instead they will bring their work energy, last conversation with their best friend on the way to the date, kids, personal problems or whatever sporadic thoughts that run through their minds. But no, not you. You will bring your feminine soul into the room with you. What is your feminine soul? It is the essence of what attracts men to women. One of my many suggestions on how to connect with it before you enter your date is to imagine the most beautiful flower in mid-bloom. Be specific. Name the flower. And as you are walking in that room, see that flower blooming in your mind. Allow that feeling to take over your body.
- Tip 3- Invest time and energy into getting the relationship you want. Ladies, I know it is a hard thing to admit that you suck at love, but the first rule to getting resolution to a problem is to “confront the problem” head-on with real strategy that presents a solution to the problem. That solution does not include advice from your mama, auntie, best friend, grandmother, cousins, fav television show or the hottest SZA song. Admitting that you suck at love is not really a reflection of you entirely anyway. None of us were ever given the blue print to building heathy romantic relationships. You are just doing like most everyone else, just trying to figure it out. I would suggest for the new year, you invest in a love coach for a minimum of three months, and no more than six months. It doesn’t have to be one on one coaching. Look into a coaching group of 20 in the class that meet at least twice a month. Costs can range from $300-600 for the three months. The internet has plenty of great coaches.
- Tip 4- Extend your reach. Sometimes our immediate circles can’t offer new experiences. Push outside of your comfort zone and meet new people who may bring fresh experiences, who then may introduce you to a very good potential love interest. One way to stretch outside of your immediate circle is to see what facebook groups may interest you. If you find one you like, join the group. Facebook has amazing groups that are actively doing things together on a monthly or quarterly basis. If you are a member of the group, you are able to check out the group. You can see what kinds of people are in the group and even consider attending an event the group will host, thus extending your reach outside your normal circle of friends to meet new people.
- Tip 5- Go online.
Girlfriend, sign up for a dating site. Positioning yourself for as many opportunities to engage someone who may have similar interest that you have, who you can chat with a bit to see if your interest is peaked through the chat experience, etc. is a positive. And online there are really good men. There are some fools too. And if you are meeting too many of the fools, remember …. they do say like attract like. Sooooo, you may wanna consider if that is the case doing more self reflection and soul searching to get “yourself” right first before dating in 2018.
If you are interested in getting a little assistance in your journey toward love, Stacii Jae has a three-month Coach To Love intensive course, for more information, click here: Stacii Jae Coach to Love Atlanta)