Ride or die chicks beware: Misplaced loyalty can lead to incarceration

Photo credit: Shutterstock.com/AS photo studio

Prison B.R.E.A.K. is an acronym for Building Relationships Empowerment and Knowledge

Loyalty is something we all look for in relationships. Often, the need to show loyalty and display how “down” one is, leads to people biting off a lot more than they can chew. Throughout my years, I have met some loyal people and I’ve shown love in return. Unfortunately, the horror stories I’ve heard from women who have turned their lives upside down for someone else, come more often than I would like to hear.

One story that sticks out to me the most is one I heard recently about a young lady named Stacy.  Stacy was a single mother who found herself caught in a world of trouble all because she had way too much loyalty for someone who watched her throw her whole life away. As the story goes, Stacy had fallen on hard times and began dancing to make ends meet. She was pulled by the glitz, money and popularity of being a dancer.

Photo credit: Shutterstock.com/AS photo studio

Getting attention wasn’t hard. She was beautiful and confident. Soon, she caught the attention of the club owner Darrin, better known as “Big D.” Stacy and Big D began to  have a good thing going on and after a few months Stacy no longer danced and was more like the first lady of the club. Envy was shown from all her old friends, but Stacy didn’t care. She was living the life: the latest clothes, expensive bags and money to move her daughter to their very own home.

Stacy was finally being treated like a queen. She was grateful for all of the things Big D had done for her and had fallen in love. After gaining Big D’s trust, he showed her what he did outside of the club. He took her to a house where he packaged cocaine. Little did Stacy know, he was one of the biggest drug dealers in the city. With money coming in and their relationship on the ups he thought it would be a good idea for Stacy to transport drugs for him.

Big D had been dealing drugs for a while and had a pretty profitable business and was a pro at staying out of the headlines. Although police could not pinpoint who the mastermind behind the operation was, there were suspicions about an underground operation that could lead to a huge bust. Big D often transported drugs from Ohio to Illinois by rental car. The person he usually would send was unavailable and Stacy was the best option to cut out a middle man and send someone he could trust.

Stacy was caught off guard with his request and instantly showed doubt and hesitation. That was the first time Big D had seen Stacy show little confidence in herself. He made it known to her that he was turned off and disappointed. Stacy was embarrassed and feared losing his respect and most importantly his trust. Stacy quickly agreed to his request. Big D was grateful and his frown turned into a smile immediately.

Stacy had never done anything like this and honestly she knew better. Her daughter’s father was in jail for drug related charges and she had seen the devastation of that first hand. Still, she ignored every sign and gut feeling to make sure she could look and feel as confident as possible for her man. After weeks of preparation, the day had finally come and it was time to prove her love and loyalty. Everything started off fine but she couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. She brushed the feeling off as nervous vibes until she saw flashing lights in her rearview.

Apparently, Stacy forgot to use her blinker when making a right turn and had been pulled over. Nervous and in a rental in a state different from her license, the cops were suspicious and called for backup and to search the car. A kilo of cocaine was found and Stacy was taken into custody. Her worst nightmares were unfolding and she was in total shock.

The first few hours, she couldn’t mumble a word. One thing she knew for sure was she couldn’t turn in Big D. She loved him and he had done so much for her. What kind of woman would that make her? Even after being questioned, she never gave a name. All she requested was a lawyer.

It was clear to officials by her body language and actions that she was no pro and couldn’t have been the kingpin they wanted or needed but they needed a statement — a statement Stacy would not and still will not give. After jailtime and then finally her court hearing, Stacy was given 15-40 years in prison. How much time did Big D do? None. Not for that case, at least. He was arrested for an unrelated and lesser charge at a later date.

This was a women who wanted to pave a better way for her child and herself but ultimately ended up in prison.

Family, don’t be a prisoner to your emotions. Don’t let yourself be a victim to alternative motives and negative agendas. People will manipulate you for their own successes and forget about you if you allow them to. Be strong and be confident. Listen to your gut and  make decisions that are best for you.

Dave Bishop
Dave Bishop

President/KITE INC.

Dave Bishop is the founder of the nonprofit organization, K.I.T.E. Inc., Konnecting the Incarcerated Through Excellence. The mission of the organization is to provide mentoring and support to children, younger than 18 years of age, who live in urban, under represented areas, and have at least one incarcerated parent. K.I.T.E. facilitates programs dedicated to providing financial assistance, emotional and crisis counseling, and educational and life skills training.

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