We live in an ever-changing world of what beauty, intelligence and success should look like. If one chooses to chase such things, it could produce a constant climate of comparison, inadequacy, discontent and unfulfillment. More than ever, we need to be fortified with confidence. Self-confidence is the permission and authorization to be powerful and authentic while navigating through life.
Rolling out recently spoke with Juanita Woodson, who has a doctorate in Christian counseling from Jacksonville Theological Seminary and is the CEO of Impact Ministries Global, about the value of confidence in this new decade. Woodson, aka the “Breakthrough Accelerator,” has for nearly two decades served as a catalyst nationally and internationally to help women (and men) identify and overcome barriers that keep them stuck in cycles.
Do you believe that a lack of confidence is more prevalent in women or men?
The lack of confidence is equal among genders but shows up differently. As a coach and counselor, both males and females can feel inadequate in some way. They express a desire to grow in confidence in various areas, but typically males are conditioned to hide it. Women easily express their state of self-confidence especially on subjects like weight, height, beauty and age. … [but] when asked in a confidential and safe environment [men will] be open and own their insecurities too.
How do self-identity, self-esteem and self-worth interact or interfere with confidence?
Self-identity is knowing who you are and what you bring to the world. Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself, and how you receive what others feel and think of you. Self-worth is what value you give yourself and the value you allow others to confer on you. Someone can be clear on their purpose or assignment, but not feel good about themselves personally. Someone may be exceptional at what they do, but not feel valuable to anyone. All three work together in harmony, and when not, it’s detrimental to the other.
How do you build confidence after failing in a career or business?
It all depends. For example, if it was a bad business deal that involved lots of money, it could take years to rebuild confidence with that partner, product or industry. The most important thing to do is forgive yourself. Release yourself even if it was your fault. Accept the reality, learn the lesson(s), and make a commitment to not let it stop you from moving forward even if it’s with a new endeavor or opportunity.
Can you share an experience where you had to rebuild your confidence?
I’ve been divorced several times and lacked major confidence in the area of marriage. I began to feel unlovable, undesirable and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t enough. One day I began to do a self-inventory and dig deep within for answers. … During this discovery journey, I took myself on dates and watched movies alone. I learned to love myself and that I enjoyed being alone. The next relationship worked out and is in its 10th year of marriage.
Follow Woodson at DrJuanitaWoodson.com and JuanitaWoodsonInnerCircle.com.