Through all of this, the Black woman remained steadfast in her loyalty and support of her man. Little girls visited daddy behind plexiglass, which meant the inability to develop a relationship. Fast-forward and these little girls have become women, clueless to what it means to be fully loved by a man. They see their mothers and aunties holding it down for their absent men while assuming the role of the head of their families. Allegiance becomes the norm. Being the “ride or die” woman is praised and glorified. Yet you’re still alone, having babies without a ring.
In order to stop the cycle, we must be willing to get outside the box and open up our eyes to the possibilities. You can’t keep running toward an unhappy ending. So what if he doesn’t look like you. So what if culturally he may not fit the mold of your ideal man. Love conquers all, and sometimes waiting on that love to fit can be similar to expecting to win the lotto without buying a ticket.
It’s time to put you first. Find love, and don’t set limits on what it looks like to others. Meghan Markle, Serena Williams and Mellody Hobson, among others, figured it out. They are all married to hugely successful White men.
Girl, get your man, even if he’s White.
Remember: What’s good for the goose is good for the gander!
Check out my final thoughts about Black women and dating in the video below:
Anissa D. Blair is an Atlanta-based author and blogger with a passion for writing and being a mother and wife. In her blog, “Straight, No Chaser,” she represents everyday women “just trying to cope doing average s—” and covers all topics — from the good, the bad and the ugly of navigating through life’s obstacles and roadblocks, to building and keeping successful relationships while trying to maintain your sanity. No taboo topics here. You can read her work at rollingout.com/anissa/ and follow her on social media @anissadblair on Instagram and @anissablair on Facebook.