The 35-year-old model dedicated her new book Cravings: All Together: Recipes to Love to her boy, whom she lost 20 weeks into her pregnancy last year, and the author admitted she has felt “slightly down lately” after reflecting on her decision to announce the arrival of her new collection of recipes as her “third baby.”
Teigen — who has two children, Luna, 5, and Miles, 3, with husband John Legend — explained how she “threw” herself into making her book and has not allowed herself to fully grieve.
She shared a picture on Instagram from her date night with her husband and reflected on their life in New York, writing: “Anyhowwwww just reminiscing about New York a lot lately, when things were simple, thinking about all the stuff I’ve done and been through not just this year but in my life. I’m slightly down lately. It kind of started when I was thinking of my book caption and typed out ‘my third baby is here!!’, as in cookbook, then realized my third baby will never be here. then I realized i threw myself into the book to not think of the real, actual third baby.”
The television personality, who revealed in December that she had quit alcohol, also admitted booze had helped to “numb” the pain until she stopped drinking.
“I don’t really feel like I fully processed jack and now that I don’t have the alcohol to numb it away, things are just … there, waiting to be acknowledged. I guess what I’m saying here is life is so f—— complicated,” she wrote.
Teigen and Legend shared the devastating news of their loss in October last year.
Part of their lengthy statement at the time read: “We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough.”
And Chrissy recently said writing her third Cravings book “quite literally saved” her and helped her cope with the loss.
She wrote in a previous Instagram post: “It is incredibly hard to put into words what this book means to me. How do you come up with a funny, enticing caption for a book that quite literally saved you. I didn’t have a theme in mind when we made this book — all I knew was I wanted a bright new energy, but I also needed comfort.”