Damn …
I had to hop on the Internet to get confirmation. The Associated Press confirmed as much:
CHARLOTTE, N.C. – Charlotte-Mecklenburg police say Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry has died, one day after suffering serious injuries upon falling out of the back of a pickup truck in what authorities describe as a domestic dispute with his fiancé. Police say Henry died at 6:36 a.m. Thursday. Henry was 26.
Sad …
Death is never an easy subject to deal with — especially when you don’t see it coming. And while his family, friends and teammates cope with the tragedy of his loss, I feel compelled to address the elephant in the room …
This tragedy was caused by a domestic dispute.
I’m sure his fiancée is currently experiencing her lowest point, faced with the realization that the final moments of Henry’s life were spent in a heated argument with her — that’s just a tough pill for anyone to swallow.
But instead of dwelling on the particulars of this tragedy (we need to respect the family’s grieving process), I thought it would be an excellent opportunity for us to examine three tips for dealing with domestic disputes. After all, disagreements between couples happen every day, so we might as well be equipped with the tools to properly address them.
The following three suggestions may help.
1. Let cooler heads prevail.
Certain arguments should be tabled for a time when clearer heads can prevail. In the heat of the moment, we often say and do things that are regrettable, which in the end just complicates matters. I’m sure we’ve all been in a fight where we said something that only made things worse. (Lord knows, I have.)
And who knows … maybe that’s what Henry’s fiancée was doing. Maybe she was trying to leave the scene so they could discuss their situation following a brief cooling off period. We don’t know, and may never know what transpired between them.
2. Really listen to each other.
If the situation needs to be immediately addressed, then at the very least make sure you’re actively listening to the other side. Take the initiative to lead a mature discussion where you work out your differences as adults. Oftentimes, it only takes one person to step up and be the “mature one,” before the other party follows suit.
Besides, by actively listening, you stand a better chance at gaining the insight needed to determine exactly where your wires got crossed.
3. Hold on to what matters most.
In the heat of an argument, we tend to forget what we’re fighting about. That’s what happens in disagreements — they have a habit of morphing into an intense battle of “I want to win the argument,” versus the more noble position that says, “I sincerely want to solve this problem so we can become a better couple.”
So if preserving the relationship is your sincere desire, then you have to keep your need to make things work at the forefront. That alone can cause a dramatic shift in how you tackle the situation.
The Fly (But Sad) Closing
I’ve been meaning to write this piece for quite some time. It just saddens me that a situation like this had to arise before I actually did it. My heart goes out to the Henry family, but I hope we can use this tragedy to learn some important life lessons.
So if you don’t remember anything else that I say, then please remember this:
Life is short … Love is precious … And petty arguments often rob us of what matters most — and that’s the opportunity to share both the blessings of life and love with the people that matter the most.
Make sense?
