We are seldom able to create memories, nor snatch from the midst of calamity a comedic response to ameliorate that which others find offensive. Assaults on another’s character and unwarranted commentary on the things they deem important don’t ingratiate us any, or make us appear superior. To the contrary, as time passes, the audacity of the offender to address the merit of the target’s response, clearly gives rise to ill feelings and encourages transgressions. Anger jealousy, and spite are the likely response to the verbal volley and assault on another’s integrity.
It is when we absorb the vitriolic attack and take hurtful words to heart, that we often feel compelled to take action — right or wrong. We harbor the hurt, in order to cultivate and justify the resentment and animosity against others. But that response hinders us and impedes our progress. It diminishes the value of life, or the beauty of a yet to be fully developed and appreciated memory that is stained and obscured by another’s insidious commentary.
It is a tragedy to postpone or put aside one’s appreciation for a beautiful and memorable moment to instead embrace the thing that went wrong in that otherwise right moment. As our parents’ abilities to recognize loved ones and remember special times fade when they fall prey to lapses of memory and senility, and gravity takes hold of their aging bodies, are we willing to forget the beauty of their youth and our growing up together? Will we forget their words and the pearls of wisdom they adorned us with because they can’t remember them? The spiritual nourishment they shared with us like nourishment for the body should be partaken of often, and as regularly as the daily meals they prepared and provided for us.
It is here that warm and caring relationships are put on pause, and the memories aren’t enough to substantiate an uncertain and uncharted future. It is also here that even in the tears for a relationship gone astray, there should be a smile and a nod to the future. For any tragedy which puts an end to relationships with fist falling upon face and ruining smiles with missing teeth, will find no favor. That rage can be eradicated with a smile and a quiet, swift relinquishing of the relationship.
A brother, a sister, a friend and all those we hold in high esteem and sanction as paramount in our minds, can all to abruptly be removed from those positions. And for what — a momentary lapse in judgement or an unsubstantiated reason to be mean and malicious, brought on by some adverse situation that didn’t go exactly as planned — even though the perceived offense is usually forgivable.
Dr. Benjamin Mays said in his book, Born to Rebel, that he was disturbed by the man that has killed and denigrates his own civilization and humanity when he is omitted from the practice of forgiveness that gives the value of life new meaning. For it is the God line inside of us that will abdicate the reason to allow evil to create memories and mysteries of inflicting pain and indistinguishable disregard for having and perpetuating attitudes of negativity. It is here in the small things that we hold and burp children who vomit their little food up on our shirts, but yet if someone spills a beer or a coke we are ready to fight and even kill, because we are offended. But as the anger and the evil manifest themselves, the reality is that it lands us in places like jails, psychiatric units, prisons and leaves permanent records of your life staining the memory that could have been a great laugh. Staining a memory of the practice of forgiveness, staining the memory of building trust where one may not find enough, but there is the presence of love.
Love can fill the void and increase the value of memories, for in time we will want to be loved, we will want to be forgiven, and we will find love enough to build bridges of trust over our insecurities and doubts. Let memories be created that are good, for in the flesh there is the weakness of tomorrow. And in love there is the constant of forgiveness, tolerance and joy. Find pleasure in finding love and forgiving. The tolerance of imperfection gives rise to our humanity.
Peace.
Munson Steed, Publisher
