‘No Longer Still Just a Bill,’ Health Care Reform Remix

The Kid: Wow! You sure gotta’ go through a lot of craziness just to get to this Capitol Building here in Washington: I wonder who left that sad little paper napkin on the steps … ( I thought they said they’d clean up D.C. after Marion Berry left) “Who Are You?”

I’m just a bill. 
Yes, the Heath Care Reform bill. 
And I’m sitting here on Capitol Hill. 
Well, it’s a long, long process

to the capital city. 
Ya’ gotta’ kiss alotta’ a–,

It can get grimy and kinda’ sh—y. 
But I know I’ll be a law some-daaaaaay! 
So much frustration I feel, just being the Health Care Reform Bill. 

The Kid: I’m so sorry  Mr. Bill, you sure gotta lot of ‘issues,’ why don’t you just go on home, go back to the way things were before?

Bill: Well, I’ve come too far to go back now, son. When I first started, I wasn’t even a bill, I was just a crazy dream to some folks who watched loved ones work hard all their lives and then die because they didn’t have proper coverage. So a man with a funny name called Barack Obama decided if he was elected president, all people could have the same rights to health care, just like in other countries. So they wrote me out, introduced me to Congress and I became and will stay a bill until I become a law.

So I’m only a bill .
Yes, the Heath Care Reform Bill.

I feel as useful as a 5-year-old Viagra pill.

I hear some folks talkin’ about me

as I sit out here and wait.

I see them screaming and spitting on folks who don’t side with their debate.

They claim to be Christians, but all I hear is hate.

Their name “tea baggers” makes sense because they’re all a bunch nuts for reaaaaaal! Oh, I hope and pray they don’t kill …

but today I am still just a bill!

The Kid: Listen to those people fussin’ and cussin’ all about you, what did you ever do to them?

Bill:  Nothing, I only wanted to help the less fortunate have the same advantages that the wealthy do, is that a crime? The sad thing is that some of the main protesters probably know somebody who needs universal health care right now. If the GOP has their way, I could die!

The Kid: Die?

Bill: Yeah, die in committee: all because of pride, the GOPS’s never-ending, other-side of the aisle war with the Dems and ‘Fear-of-a-Black-House!

Oooh, but it looks like I’m gonna live… and so will a lotta other folks now! I’ll go to the House of Representatives, and they’ll vote on me.

The Kid: If they vote yes, is it over?

Bill: Well, It’s never really over son; then I go to the Senate and somebody will try to delay me with a last-minute amendment!

The Kid: Oh no!

Bill: Oh yes!

I told you I’m just a bill.
The Health Care Reform Bill.

And I gotta’ give it to ya’ straight-up and real.

We need for them to vote for me on Capitol Hill.
There are some crazy people out there who just don’t wanna listen.

They don’t want a black president and call him names too mean to mention.

They’re calling Barack Obama ‘Hitler’ and chanting “Abortion!” and “Demon pass!” 
They wanna fire Nancy Pelosi and throw Joe out on hi s F-bomb droppin’ a–!

So I turned on the TV and what did I see?

FOX news had some more folks on who were talking trash about me!

There’s a crazy lady named Sara Palin who told people to “reload!”

Someone needs to reload her on a plane to the farthest Alaskan zip code.

Then Rush Limbaugh swore if I got passed, he’d move to Costa Rica.

I say let’s all help him pack and send Glenn Beck out there to meet cha!

People are dying there’s no denying that we need to send me through quick-fast and right-awaaaaaaay.

So today I will pray that the people have their say and I won’t be a bill but a law! President Obama: I signed you, Bill! Now you’re a laaaaaaw!

Bill: Oh yeaahhhhh-yer!

THE END?

–written and illustrated by lena hopkins-jackson