When I first heard of the impending divorce between my homeboy, former Vice President Al Gore and his wife, Tipper, I was surprised and took it with a grain of salt. But then I started to wonder and speculate whether something fishy was going on.
After being married 40 years, it is not likely that the 62-year-old Gores will be out there hitting the bars or clubs, or subscribing to Chemistry.com to meet other singles. I wouldn’t be surprised if this period represents the twilight of their lives, since they will be 70 in less than a decade and may not have that long to live. So it is strange to me that people of such an advanced age would not desire to be each other’s companion until their deaths, especially after Al just purchased a $9 million mansion in Montecito, Calif.
Now I am known to be one that ruminates dialectically, meaning that I think outside the box incessantly. Moreover, I admit I do not know much about the behavior of people of European descent, but I do know a little something of how African Americans think. So with this knowledge I began to speculate about why all of a sudden after 40 years the Gores would part ways.
I have reduced my reasons down to two: money or sex.
The first is that she has been told by some little birdie that her husband may be coming up for fraudulent practices regarding dealing in cap and trade futures. The second is that either their marriage must not have had any “global warming” going on in the bedroom — or worse — she caught him in bed with another — MAN.
Allow me to explain.
After Gore lost his bid to become president of the United States, he was estimated to have had a net worth in the area of $2 to $4 million. Now his worth is estimated at topping the $100 million mark. How did this occur over such a short time span? I suspect his investments in cap and trade futures.
Under a so-called “cap-and-trade” system, government places a ceiling or “cap” on private-sector emissions of CO2 and other “greenhouse gases” for a make-believe “carbon market.”
Gore being the founder and chairman of a private equity firm called Generation Investment Management (GIM), buys and sells “carbon dioxide offsets,” — in essence complex derivatives. The catch is that Gore has a direct financial benefit and stands to make billions of dollars with his big Goldman Sachs banking partners.
Derivatives of mortgage-backed securities got us in our current economic mess. If this line of speculation is true, then it is sagacious for Tipper to get out before she loses every green cent she has.
Tipper’s motivation for the split might be connected to the potential for severe legal outcomes related to fraud, but based on how I know black women think, it had to be about sex — and not just any sex — she must have caught him engaging in sexual congress with another man.
Now don’t laugh because I’m serious, a black woman would stay with her man, particularly if he had a net worth of more than $100 million, and a projected future income of close to a billion dollars. And she would be hesitant to leave her husband, even amid rumors of infidelity with another woman, because in most cases she would be willing to fight another woman for her husband. The only thing that would make her leave is if she caught him in the act of having sex with another man, and I suspect that’s what Tipper did. If so, she left like a smart woman should. If not, she still got away in time, before she contracted a three-initial (HIV, HPV) sexually transmitted infection. All of this is just speculation mixed with a little satire, and I’m laying odds 4 to 1 that I am right. –torrance stephens, ph.d.
For more with Dr. Stephens, visit twitter.com/rawdawgbuffalo and rawdawgb.blogspot.com.
