An acquaintance of mine recently shared her situation with me that made me realize how important a lot of what I teach in my books, videos and classes is. I constantly stress the importance of making sure that you really know someone before sleeping with him or bringing him around your kids. I have even recommended that you go as far as having a background check done on your man that includes a criminal history, STD status, and demanding that if he was ever married, he shows you his divorce certificate. Many of you may think that what I’m suggesting is a little excessive or overboard, but when you hear what happened to a woman I know; you will realize that I am right.
Imagine meeting a man that has all of the amazing qualities that you’ve been looking for, falling in love and moving in with him. After having two children with him, you ask him when is he going to ask for your hand in marriage. He gives you a song and dance about how it will happen soon enough but just not yet. The years continue to fly by as he continues to put off his proposal and you go on accepting his excuses only to find yourself eight years later still playing house with him.
Envision one day you get a call that your man has died in a car accident and your whole world comes crashing down. You can’t imagine feeling any worse when you stumble upon a bunch of information about him that you never knew. Imagine that while dealing with the death of the man that you loved who is the father of your children whom you spent almost a decade with, you discover that he has children that you never knew he had. Five different children from three different mothers — he was still even married to one of these women.
This unlucky woman devoted the last eight years of her life to a man who wouldn’t marry her, only to find out that he had been lying from day one. She spent eight years sleeping with the enemy so to speak, and the most painful truth is that she allowed it.
Learn from this woman’s mistakes and never allow someone to just tell you who they are or force you to compromise what you truly want. The time, heartache and potential drama are not worth it.
–shay williams-garrett
Visit www.lovein30days.com and join us for D.I.V.A University, for more on how to find out all about a man’s past before committing to him as well as reasons why living together before marriage is a mistake.
