Many times, women are labeled as “crazy” when a relationship fails.
It has been my experience that men are using this term more frequently to describe women when it relates to their past relationships. Is this because women won’t settle for being mistreated, used, abused, lied to and cheated on? Is this some sort of ego booster term that is used to describe an ex? Whatever the reason, women should not have to hear this term time after time when we ask a guy what happened between him and his last girlfriend.
Women should not have to worry about being labeled as “crazy” after they make a conscious decision to terminate a relationship.
On the other hand, men feel totally justified in using this term and in some cases, it is warranted. Men say when a woman attacks their possessions, such as damaging their cars or homes, contacts their family, stalks them at their job or home, overloads their voicemail with profane messages and sends them repeated text messages, they deserve to be labeled as “crazy.”
Time out.
Having an emotionally overwrought reaction to the demise of a relationship is not the specific domain of one gender. Men and women are guilty of stalking behavior and badmouthing an ex when the relationship blows up, although women are more frequently labeled as crazy for a destructive reaction. Allowing a defunct relationship to become volatile is dangerous for more than just the two people involved; it can affect others closely related to the couple, too.
Defaming someone’s character will not heal the emotional fallout from a troubled relationship. Nor will slashing someone’s tires, although it might make you feel good temporarily.
Men and women need to realize that growth and maturity are necessary for the success of any future retionship. What didn’t work for you may be just what the doctor ordered for the next person. If you didn’t consider your mate to be crazy at the beginning of the relationship, don’t resort to placing him or her in that category when the relationship falls apart. If you knew they were “crazy” all along and you chose to stay, then you must deal with the consequences. We should all learn to live by the adage, “If you don’t have anything good to say about someone, don’t say anything at all.” –shoya bowman
Shoya Bowman is a relationship expert and author of Issues and Goodbye Don’t Always Mean Gone. www.shoyaswritings.com
