To watch Mary J. Blige perform her magic on stage is to be immersed in an understanding and enlightenment of the trials and travails of African American women and their endeavors to succeed and overcome. Women like Mary J. exist on another plane of consciousness, one that is hard-earned and reserved for the strong of heart. To catch her onstage performance and to witness some of her off stage dealings at the Essence Festival in New Orleans recently, one is struck by the fact that she nurtures millions of lost women and children who struggle with many of the challenges she’s had to face in her lifetime.
As a sister she’s been able to parlay her success into a branding powerhouse on several levels, from perfumes to computers to cars. Yet when she sings we are drawn back to one recurring theme, the plight of a woman and a man entwined in the relationship saga. For those who have not heard one of her powerful duet collaborations like with the maniacal Method Man, heartthrob Trey Songz or the Kang, T.I., you’ve missed something. To see her perform is to witness the birth of something marvelous and ethereal — something sisters can hold on to for comfort and inspiration.
Hip-hop music and the hip-hop culture for African American women is on a collision course with tsunami-like repercussions that beckon for women to retreat into mediocrity and obscurity. Conversely, to continue on in the genre characterizes them as insensitive, calculating non-maternal vixens who attach themselves to prison bound tattooed brothers with no futures to offer. That’s why we look at Mary J. as the woman who defies the odds and has managed to live life fully in both worlds, unafraid and unapologetic. She demands that the man in her life treat her like the woman that she is and honor his obligations to her and the promise that is love.
It is in that vein that we find Mary J. belting out songs that implore women to stand strong and hold on — she, after all, is leading by example. We should encourage women of all ages to be the best that they can be and not become entrapped in the downward spiral that too often leaves them abused, abandoned and bitter. The ramifications for the mistreatment of women lead to a supplanting of cultural mores, family values and social norms.
Mary J. Blige that we see is the embodiment of what African American women have always been, undaunted daughters and courageous fighters working to maintain every shred of dignity and respect due them. Insecurities and self-esteem issues aside, women taking a page from the Mary J. songbook are finding a renewed voice for themselves and their daughters.
So don’t allow a man to approach you or enter your home without doing due diligence and making sure he’s worthy of the time. That means credit checks and health screenings before you allow him to hold you in intimate embrace. Don’t open the door to the emotional untruths that are sometimes shrouded in that all encompassing word “love.” For all of those soulful songstresses that sing songs about their love expectations, there are hordes of women who have felt the pain of having their hopes dashed.
Mary J. concluded the concert with a rousing ovation from fans. She made the rounds to TV One and the Carol’s Daughter beauty supplier and stayed in stellar form while doing it. After all of the performances and the frenzied activities, she at no time forgot herself and offered herself up for anyone to have and use. No flesh for the vultures or meat for devouring eyes. She did not play to the more base aspects of human nature or acknowledge the lechers.
Mary J. is a classic example of real womanhood. There’s some Mary in every woman. Keep your covenant with Mary — Mary the mother, Mary the saviour and the Mary in you.
Peace.
Munson Steed
