Attention ladies and gents: The following is a relationship public service announcement.
An important phrase that’s missing in everyday relationship speak. And no, I’m not referring to “I love you” … in fact, those words get too much press. No, there are four (more critical) words that deserve a permanent place in your love vocabulary. They are …
“Can I hit that?”
OK, that definitely wasn’t it … although I’m sure there are at least three gentlemen reading this who wouldn’t mind that being the phrase that pays. Sorry to disappoint you fellas, but the real phrase that’s missing is …
“I’m proud of you.”
In many ways, “I’m proud of you” is infinitely more powerful than any other thing that you can say to a loved one.
Here’s why:
As a card-carrying, unapologetic romantic, I’m the first person to preach the power and importance of a sincere “I love you.” But even I have to admit that this phrase has become more watered down than the drinks on $2 margarita night.
And since those words get thrown around more often than the “N-word” in the Limbaugh household, the value of “I love you” is currently trending downward. On the other hand, a phrase like “I’m proud of you” rarely gets used, so its value is still holding strong.
In fact, think back over all of your past relationships (I realize that some have more data to sift through than others). Now compare the number of times that you’ve heard “I’m proud of you” vs. “I love you” in a romantic setting.
It’s not even close, right? Didn’t think so.
While “I love you” speaks to one’s devotion no matter what, “I’m proud of you” highlights a characteristic that’s often lacking in relationships.
Respect.
Respect for one another is the primary thing that gets one through those moments when you don’t necessarily love or even like the person that you’re with. It’s the thing that makes you a friend, a fan, and an ardent supporter. In short, it’s the oil that fuels love’s engine.
So the next time your significant other does something worthy of a pat on the back, don’t hesitate to add a heartfelt “I’m proud of you.” Trust me; it will do more long-term good than you could ever imagine. At the end of the day, we all want to be admired and respected on some level — especially by the people we cherish the most.
Can the church say, amen? The doors of the church are now open. –dewayne rogers
**DeWayne Rogers is the author of The Fly Guy Chronicles; your in-depth guide to love, relationships and everything hazy in between**
