“So Mr. Fly Guy, why are you single?”
As the words left her lips, my body began to cringe — almost in the same way that one would cringe if they heard fingernails scrapping across a chalkboard, or Paula Abdul singing the a cappella version of “Opposites Attract.” Now some may wonder why I would be so up in arms about such an innocent question. After all, she was probably just asking as a way to express interest, right?
Maybe.
At face value, I have no problem with her inquiry. But it’s the underlying question that needs to be addressed. What she really wanted to ask was, “So what’s wrong with you? There aren’t many good men out here, so you must be crazy, married, or a combination of both.” And I guess she has every right to ask whatever she wants, but let’s be serious for a moment. What did she really expect me to say?
“I’m single because I was locked up for two years after beating up my girlfriend for giving me four incurable STDs and bad credit.”
I wonder if that was the answer she was searching for (In fact, maybe I should say that one day just to see what type of response I get.)
Let me officially break this down, so we can move past this question.
I just haven’t met the woman who has moved my heart to the point of wanting to give my all long term. Short of that, I’m not interested in wasting anyone’s time with discussions of settling down if my heart isn’t genuinely there. So as you can see, there’s no scandal, no intrigue, and no grotesque flaw on my part which forces me to be single.
I’m not an escaped felon, nor am I a guy who secretly runs the Color Me Badd Fan Club (that might actually be less forgivable than a criminal record.) I’m just a guy who’s comfortable in my own skin, and who’s perfectly fine with being single until the right woman comes along.
So to the women of my future; the next time we’re out on a date, and you feel the burning desire to ask me “so why are you single,” find something else to ask. There are far better ways to get to know more about me than trying to uncover what brought me to this moment in time with you. Just know that I’m here, and I’m focused on us enjoying our time together.
Why can’t you do the same?
**DeWayne Rogers is the author of The Fly Guy Chronicles, your in-depth guide to love, relationships and everything hazy in between.
