Does someone or something possess your power? You give something your power when you want or expect something from it that you should have or can do for yourself. When you buy a high-priced shoe, for instance, wearing the brand is supposed to give you respect, admiration or approval from others. Thus, you gave the particular brand your power.
In American culture, we tend to worship celebrities. We emulate them, changing our hair, clothes, attitude, and maybe even looks to match that of our favorite celebrity. When we compare ourselves and our lives to them, we seem less valuable, overlooking our own unique significance because they seem so much more special. We give them our power, transferring to them that which was divinely given to us. We do this in relationships too.
We want someone to like or love us, so we withhold our true selves due to fear of rejection. We say and do what we think others will like, all with the hope or expectation that we will get what we want: their acceptance and approval.
African Americans sometimes do this for acceptance into other cultures. They abandon their longtime relatives, friends or mates to immerse themselves in another culture that they see as superior. They become okay with racial insults and degradation because they now feel superior or different after being accepted into a new culture in which they have given their power.
Why is it so easy to lose ourselves and surrender our power? We tend to place a higher value on things we believe are unattainable or otherwise inaccessible. If, for example, something is easy or free, we tend to devalue it. This, however, causes us to treat even our own selves or kind as less valuable.
We become enslaved or powerless to things that we value more than ourselves. We give excessive amounts of our time, thought or resources to these things. This is called worship. We make gods of these things or people, losing ourselves in hopes that we will be appreciated for associating with or even becoming just like the object of our affection.
The truth is that we should value the “authentic,” which means that something is genuine and real. When someone shows us authentic love, for instance, we should be able to recognize and value it. We may overlook or misinterpret it if we continue to focus on having to earn approval. Some things should be earned, but love is not one of them.
Many of us have made goals and resolutions for 2012, but my hope is that you have included “reclaiming my power” in whatever area of your life that it’s relevant. In achieving this, tell people what you need, like or expect. Show them the real you. The next time you are invited to an event, hopefully the authentic you will attend, not what people expect or who you think people want to see. Be you for 2012.
Annette Johnson is the owner of Allwrite Advertising & Publishing and the author of “What’s Your Motivation?: Identifying and Understanding What Drives You.” Follow her on Twitter @AnnetteWriter
