Dear Pegatha,
Last month, my 15 year old daughter, Darene came home from a Wednesday evening church function at 1 o’clock in the morning! I was livid to say the least! I called the church at 10 o’clock and nobody was there. When I asked her what was going on, she began to raise her voice to me! She said she was nearly grown and I didn’t have a right to ask her where she’d been or who she was with! I was so caught off guard that I couldn’t think of anything except to just choke or hit her with something! I need help.
Lost as I can be, Florence
Okay Florence,
It’s time to get real now. I know that being a single parent is a difficult thing. But this unfamiliar behavior is only new to you because you and Darene have been so close and you’ve tried to provide for her everything she’d ask for.
However, that has to stop right now. Hold onto yourself, because this will happen again since you didn’t react before. You have to learn how to give that ‘mother look.’ You know the one that used to scare the life out of you when your own mother did it. Press your lips together, turn your head slowly and stare at her as if you could melt her like butter. That should stop her long enough for you to read off want you’re not going to accept any more….and mean it! Be prepared to back it up. It may hurt to talk to her like that but it will help her understand in the long run.
It’s hard and different raising kids now….they’re mostly crazy until they turn twenty-five anyway; then all of a sudden, you get smarter.
P.S. Just don’t choke her because she may stop breathing.
Pegatha
Pegatha is a self-imposed retired, therapist whose clients have gotten on her nerves. She left the therapist group she was with because her colleagues wanted her to follow all the main-stream procedures. They also wanted her to refrain from choking clients. Pegatha found that her method was more helpful in moving clients toward action. Some of her help methods, though questionable, did get their attention.
She has chosen to communicate with them only be email for their own safety
