Lady Elizabeth Anson, Queen Elizabeth II’s close cousin and confidante, disclosed deeply troubling details about Prince Harry’s behavior toward his grandmother during 2018 wedding planning that left the late monarch profoundly upset and saddened. According to Anson’s account published in Royal Extra, Sally Bedell Smith’s Substack blog, Harry engaged in a confrontational conversation with the Queen that lasted approximately 10 minutes and was characterized as remarkably rude and disrespectful.
The revelations emerged from interviews Anson conducted with biographer Bedell Smith before Anson’s death in November 2020, providing unprecedented insight into private royal family dynamics during one of the most scrutinized periods in recent monarchy history. Anson served as the Queen’s party planner and organized her 80th birthday celebration, maintaining such close personal relationships that she spoke with the monarch weekly and enjoyed regular private dinners.
The timing of these conflicts proves particularly significant given Harry and Meghan’s subsequent departure from royal duties and their public criticisms of the institution. Anson died before the couple’s explosive March 2021 Oprah Winfrey interview, meaning her account was formed independent of later public controversies that would further strain family relationships.
Protocol breaches create institutional tensions over wedding arrangements
The central conflict arose when Prince Harry requested Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby to perform their wedding ceremony at St. George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle without obtaining proper permission from the Dean of Windsor, who held jurisdictional authority over the chapel. This protocol breach demonstrated what Anson characterized as Harry’s fundamental misunderstanding of royal institutional limitations and the Queen’s actual authority within established church hierarchy.
Anson explained that Harry’s assumption that the Queen could unilaterally override established protocols reflected a naive understanding of constitutional monarchy constraints. The incident highlighted broader tensions between Harry’s expectations of royal privilege and the complex institutional frameworks that govern even seemingly simple ceremonial decisions.
The wedding planning disputes extended beyond protocol violations to include communication breakdowns about basic ceremony details. During a tea meeting held two days before Anson’s conversation with the Queen, Meghan Markle reportedly refused to share information about her wedding dress selection despite the monarch’s attempts to engage with planning discussions and show personal interest in the upcoming celebration.
Relationship deterioration and eventual reconciliation attempts
The severity of the confrontation shocked Anson, who expressed surprise at learning about Harry’s disrespectful behavior toward his grandmother during their heated exchange. The Queen’s emotional response to her grandson’s rudeness suggested deep personal hurt beyond mere institutional disagreements, indicating that Harry’s behavior violated fundamental family relationship expectations rather than simply procedural requirements.
Despite the serious nature of their conflict, the Queen and Harry managed to reconcile by April 2018, approximately one month before their May wedding ceremony. However, the reconciliation process required Harry to write a formal letter explaining wedding developments and acknowledging his grandmother’s concerns about being excluded from important planning decisions.
Anson’s account reveals that even after their reconciliation, the Queen remained uncomfortable with the overall situation. When Harry informed Anson that his grandmother was content with their wedding arrangements, the Queen privately contradicted this characterization, indicating ongoing dissatisfaction with how the situation had been handled and resolved.
Complex perspectives on Meghan Markle’s royal integration
Anson’s evolving assessment of Meghan Markle provides insight into changing royal family perceptions during the engagement and early marriage period. Initially, Anson described Meghan positively as poised, natural, intelligent, and thoughtful, noting the apparent loving connection between the couple when they announced their engagement in November 2017.
However, Anson’s perspective shifted dramatically as wedding planning progressed and family dynamics became more strained. She later expressed uncertainty about whether the Queen genuinely liked Meghan, suggesting that initial optimism gave way to growing concerns about motivations and compatibility with royal expectations.
Most controversially, Anson characterized Harry as besotted and weak regarding women while questioning Meghan’s authentic feelings for the Prince. Her suggestion that Meghan engineered their relationship implies calculated ambition rather than genuine romantic connection, reflecting broader skepticism within royal circles about American actress motivations for pursuing relationships with British royalty.
