“Life can get all up in yo’ a-, baby, you better work it out.” Those
words uttered by De La Soul reverberated throughout my thought process
about a decade ago, when life came down on me pretty hard. Fresh out of
college, I’d decided to go on working in my family’s business and my
people had some surprises for me.
I was employed at a barber
school started in 1946 by my grandfather that was about to see its 50th
anniversary. My father managed the business and my uncle was the
financial aid officer. I was busy getting acclimated to the real world
and paying off debts, so my surprise was considerable when my relatives
and other employees at the place started talking to me as if I would
keep working there forever. I was shocked; why the heck did I embark
upon obtaining an undergrad degree in humanities if I’d be permanently
staying at this humble institution? I’d never planned on becoming a
permanent fixture there.
Cultural critic/author bell hooks has a statement in her book, Outlaw Culture,
about black males being disenfranchised in American society, finding
that the practice of sexism is their only way of practicing the
patriarchal power they are told all men should possess. Surely, for
black men, another way of taking part in patriarchy is dominating their
sons. I’m not saying it was about this at my family’s business. But my
relatives pushed their own agenda upon me as hard as they could. As the
business fell upon difficult times and my father was diagnosed with
cancer, it seemed more and more likely that I’d hang around forever. I
won’t explain how I escaped the situation my people laid out for me,
but I hope that I’ll never be so vulnerable to the life-destroying
chokehold of patriarchy again. – forrest green III
