Tiger Woods in the ‘Hood? Opening Learning Centers Does Not Redeem Golfer Who Hates Himself

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Tiger “Tawdry Tales” Woods’ campaign to stitch together his ruptured marriage, image and golf game continues with his announcement that he intends to open two campuses for the Tiger Wood Learning Center in the nation’s Capitol.

The announcement and eventual opening of the center will doubtlessly soften some of the sharp glares of contempt and repulsion Woods has garnered since the day the “untouched” and “uninjured” athlete careened his SUV off the road and into a tree trunk and set off the greatest fall from grace in the history of sports.


Honestly, I’m surprised that Woods even knew where Southeast D.C. was — I thought he would avoid the District altogether, lest he once again catches something contagious and permanent, like being labeled black. I half expect Woods to show up at the opening of the centers wearing gloves when he shakes the black recipients’ hands.

Then again, Tiger opted for no latex when he unleashed his inner Charlie Sheen, so …


Woods’ decision to open two centers in the District was met with predictably harsh responses, with many never forgiving nor forgetting the golfer who tried so hard to separate himself from his blackness that he practically took a scratch pad against his skin. Of course, his full lips came in handy when he … well … you know. It will take some time for people to get over the “Cablinasian kitten’s” anti-black-ness.

To be fair, the decision to open up new centers came far in advance of the news of his Herculean sexual appetite. After three years, the Cesar Chavez Public Charter Schools for Public Policy (one on Capitol Hill in Ward 6 and the other just off the Anacostia Freeway in Ward 7 in Northeast) will be complete in mid-August, with openings in October.

“I’m excited we are moving forward on this initiative in the Washington, D.C. community,” Woods said in a statement released through his Tiger Woods Foundation. “The two campuses will bring the best of our curriculum to some very deserving kids. A lot of people have helped to make this happen, and I’m very grateful for their support.”

Woods has one learning center open in Anaheim, Calif., where underprivileged children in grade 5 through high school concentrate not on golf, but take classes ranging from forensic science to graphic design. This won’t absolve all of Tiger’s transgressions of public self hating, but it’s the start of a slow recovery towards redemption. –terry shropshire

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