I’ll be the first one to admit this shortcoming: breakups make me uneasy. There’s just something about the giving and receiving of bad relationship news that doesn’t sit well with me. I mean, think about it; is there really another conversation that’s more uncomfortable? I can’t think of a single one.
Over the years though, I’ve learned how to successfully approach both sides of the breakup. In doing so, I’ve decided to share a few quick tips to help you navigate through each aspect of a breakup. Keep these pointers in your back pocket … you know, just in case the situation calls for it.
The Break Up-ER
Breaking up is already tough, so why not approach it with the proper preparation. Here are two rules you must always abide by when breaking up with someone.
No Home Court Advantage
Do yourself a favor and avoid breaking up with someone at your house … or their house for that matter. Listen; you have way too many valuables that are just begging to be thrown by a scorned lover. Outside of that danger, breaking up with someone while sitting in front of pictures from happier times just makes matters worse. Suggestion: go somewhere public — but not too crowded — like the park or the premiere of a new James Earl Jones action movie. There shouldn’t be too many people there.
No Backing Down
If you really feel compelled to end the relationship, then you can’t change your mind. To me, flip flop relationships are more stressful than the time my dad tried to wear skinny jeans (yeah, it was really bad). So before you even start the process, think about all of their possible rebuttals to you ending it. Once you’ve figured that out, make sure you have sound responses to their arguments. After all; this is the official point of no return … there’s no sense in letting them talk you down off of the ledge.
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The Break Up-EE
No one wants to be on the wrong end of a breakup. But if you’re ever faced with this unfortunate predicament, at least you’ll now be prepared with the following suggestions.
Just Let It Go
If your significant other decides to bail on the relationship, then by all means let them go. Don’t fight it … in fact, agree with them. On the inside, you may be heartbroken, but there’s no need to visibly show the pain. In many ways, your strength and indifference may do more damage to their psyche than any combination of curse words ever could.
Find Someone or Something New
After you let it go, the next step is to move on. There’s no need to let your thoughts be consumed by a person that doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Instead, find someone or something to occupy your time. Truth be told, your ex probably isn’t even reading this column right now. Why? Because they’re too busy spending time with their new lover. It’s time you did the same.
The Fly Conclusion: Do I want to see your relationship end? Absolutely not. But breakups are about as inevitable as Republicans and Democrats disagreeing … it’s just bound to happen. In many ways, our fate is already sealed when it comes to experiencing both sides of a breakup. So don’t view this as me telling you to expect the worse in your relationship. Instead, consider it me pushing you one step closer to maturely handling the situation in the event that it does occur.
**DeWayne Rogers is the author of The Fly Guy Chronicles; your in-depth guide to love, relationships and everything hazy in between.
