Jill Scott knows the feeling of being ‘d—matized’, which happens when you allow the receipt of good sex to cloud your judgment. She recently sat with Sister 2 Sister’s Jamie Foster Brown to discuss this phenomenon:
What exactly is “d—matized”?
“Where you get caught up in the whole sexuality of your relationship but it’s not going anywhere… Just somebody giving you the goods but not necessarily giving you the rest—or not expecting the rest from them. What I’ve discovered is, although it may be a lot of fun, it is also a waste of time and you might be blocking your blessing—blocking somebody who wants to be more to you than just a great time in your life.How did you become un-d—matized?
“Just realizing what I have to offer. I’m so much more than my flesh!”
Jill tried to practice celibacy, after her last break up, but that didn’t last very long:
Now the minimum is until the fifth date. The whole celibacy thing, you could throw that out the window. That’s over. But I don’t have physical intimacy until at least the fifth date. So I can get to know who I’m dealing with and they can get to know me. And with my schedule, five dates can take three or four months! It just gives me a chance to get to know the person. So we talk on the phone pretty much every day or maybe we Skype or have a date and we have fun. I’m getting to know someone so I know if they’re crazy or not. I just don’t want to waste my time. I’m just trying to look at the mistakes that I made. I got so caught up in the flesh and I’m not even allowing someone to get to know the best parts of me. I’m a single girl in the world, but if I don’t have some standards then I can be making the same mistakes that I made in the past. I do want love. Genuine love. And sometimes sex can get in the way.
It’s pretty agreeable that sex tends to complicate things; how many of you can relate to Jill’s story?
