Effective Parenting: A Deliberate Process and a Great New Year’s Resolution for 2012

Effective Parenting: A Deliberate Process and a Great New Year’s Resolution for 2012Parenting styles are usually learned through the cultural traditions of the family. Despite the particular style of parenting, we know there are multiple influences that can interfere with a child’s development — socially, emotionally and intellectually — that are beyond the parent’s control. Nevertheless, the primary foundation for a child’s journey and success in life begins with the parenting that is provided in the home. Consider this question for a moment. Do you know anyone who has accidentally raised intelligent children or children who are emotionally secure? This type of development does not occur by accident. There is a careful process, even if the process is intuitive for some parents, of exposing children to the basics in life that will help develop them holistically. Thus, the family and the role it plays are critically important

Many social scientists believe that the family — particularly the nuclear family’s role — is to develop children into citizens who be self-disciplined, self reliant and become contributors to society. When parents do not fulfill their obligation to that end, other problems are likely to develop.  Parenting, whether in a two-parent family, a single-parent family, or an extended family — takes on a heightened significance therefore, and must be deliberate.


Some researchers purport that cultural groups parent differently. Sociologist Annette Lareau, for example, author of Unequal Childhoods, describes two sets of parenting styles that are more a factor of class than of race. One style is referred to as “concerted cultivation” and the other as “natural growth.”   Concerted cultivation is the strategy that characterizes parents on a mission to cultivate the very best in their children by exposing them to the very best opportunities for success in life.  They read to their children and expose them to educationally and culturally enriching activities that will develop their abilities. The natural growth proponents believe that their primary role is to provide love, shelter and food for their children. They believe the development of the children’s mind and talent will unfold as the children mature. So, they do not see the need to shape the environment to help promote the children’s development.

Which of the two styles do you subscribe to for your children — that of the natural growth advocate or that of the parent on a mission through concerted cultivation? Regardless of your preference, what a great New Year’s Resolution for every parent to embrace for their children and to become more deliberate and effective in their parenting skills in 2012.


dr. margaret ford fisher

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