Wayne’s childish proclamation prompted fellow rapper Cam’ron to throw his own bit of dirt regarding the history of the former Adrienne Williams. He posted an old photo of Adrienne on Twitter and explained, “My man @britishthetitan been had bosh wifey under wing b4 Wayne. Lol she use to be pissy drunk in my club in da Cincinnati.”
In some societies they throw a woman deemed promiscuous into a circle and hurl stones at her. In modern American culture, who needs a stone when you have Instagram?
Lil Wayne has a well-documented history of unprotected sex. The man has more babies than a rabbit on Cialis, and has been in a weird love affair with a woman known as “Superhead” for years. But his “whorishness” is a footnote (or truthfully, a nonfactor) the minute he decides to shame an NBA star by revealing past dealings with his wife. Then everyone piles on her. Another rapper, gossip sites—whoever can find a stone quick enough to hurl at this young wife and mother for her past behavior.
Behavior that doesn’t seem to be all that different from how many people — male and female —behaved in their young and single 20s.
2Pac, on his classic 1996 album All Eyez On Me, has two songs that perfectly sum up the hypocrisy of how hip-hop— and society as a whole — views young women who like to have fun. On one track, “Wonda Why They Call U B-tch,” Pac admonishes a woman with, “Keep your head up, legs closed, eyes open. Either a n—a wear a rubber or he die smokin.’ I’m hearin’ rumors so you need to switch.” The message is clear: woman having frivolous sex is conniving at best—at worst, she’s a conduit for diseases. On the very same album, there’s the hit single “How Do U Want It,” where Pac clowns a woman who is hanging with him but who isn’t — wait for it — giving up sex. “Is it cool to f–?” he raps. “Did you think I come to talk? Am I fool or what?”
As we line up to point and laugh at Adrienne’s history of getting drunk and having sex with famous men, as we mock Wiz Khalifa for planning to put a ring on the finger of a woman who’s been featured in KING magazine, let’s pause for a second and remember that these kinds of double standards are evidence of the overall problem that patriarchy presents; the idea that a woman’s sexuality is something that has to be defined by male desire and male expectations. The idea that a grown woman can’t want sex, she can only give it to a man is one that needs to be permanently discarded. And indicting a young wife for the behavior of her younger days is cruel and unfair.
After all, how many of us are lucky that no one was following us around freshman year with iPhones and Instagram accounts? And how many people have had sex for superficial reasons–or for no other reason than simply just wanting to have sex?
If we’re ever going to tear down the walls of misogyny, we have to start with this ridiculous double standard. But those walls won’t ever come down if we’re always in such a rush to pick up stones.
–stereo williams
