We live in an era where even women say that they cannot “buy the car unless they test drive it first.” But some people are beginning to change — or have changed — their perspective on premarital sex.
Some have figured out that promiscuity does not bring happiness or peace, just temporary pleasure followed by long-term angst, confusion and feelings of regret. In a society where many have used sex as their drug of choice or as part of the “get-to-know-you” process, some are now looking to find a person whom they are actually compatible with and want to forge long-term relationships with without of the pressures of sexual relations looming over them like storm clouds.
BlackCelibacy.com founder Jeremy Billingsley discerned this paradigm shift and developed a mechanism that caters to this growing crowd. He spoke with essence.com about what inspired him to turn his personal and spiritual philosophy into an entrepreneurial venture.
ESSENCE.COM: How did BlackCelibacy.com come to be?
JEREMY BILLINGSLEY: One Sunday, while in church, the pastor was preaching about love and fornication. He was really trying to direct the sermon to the singles there. I thought to myself, outside of the church there really aren’t that many places where celibate singles can embrace a celibate lifestyle and meet others on the same accord as they are. When like-minded singles can get together you’re going to get better results.
ESSENCE.COM: Who is it for?
BILLINGSLEY: BlackCelibacy.com is for anyone who is celibate or considering celibacy. It’s for those looking to meet others with the same values. We’re growing now. There aren’t just Black people on there. We actually have people of all races joining the site.
ESSENCE.COM: How does it differ from other Christian dating sites?
BILLINGSLEY: We are a faith-based site but our mission is celibacy.
ESSENCE.COM: How big is the community?
BILLINGSLEY: We’re a little bit shy of 4,000 members. We’re starting to hear a lot of success stories.
ESSENCE.COM: You sound so deeply committed to the mission? What inspires you?
BILLINGSLEY: I’m married with three kids. One of the reasons I did this is because over 70 percent of Black kids are born into single-family households. I wanted to do something different that would make a difference in the future but would be deeply embraced within the Black community.
ESSENCE.COM: What do you want others to know about the site?
BILLINGSLEY: It’s for anyone. On our site, you can actually meet celibate people in your area with the same moral values as you. We promote those relationships and you can actually meet new friends there as well. We just want to bring those people together in a positive way.
