Mother’s Day has traditionally been about celebrating the matriarch of a heterosexual nuclear family. With the world opening its eyes and minds to the lives of the LGBT community, it’s time to recognize homes with two moms as the head of the family.
Tianna Ruffin, 27, and Terrika Thomas, 28, of Lithonia, GA represent America’s growing population of LGBT parents. Ruffin, a Dayton, OH native, met Thomas, and Atlanta native, during their high school days in Conyers, GA when Ruffin was a cheerleader and Thomas played basketball and track. However, the two eventually lost touch after high school.
Although the two ladies didn’t fall in love at first sight, they eventually found each other again on Facebook and the sparks began to fly. Ruffin, who’d previously only been with men and has a 6-year-old daughter, Anayah, from a previous relationship, began dating Thomas in 2011. Now, 2 ½ years later, the young couple are living together with Anayah as a family and they recently opened up to RO about their lives as lesbian parents. – nicholas robinson
Has Anayah reached an age where she realizes that her parents are a same-sex couple?
Tianna: I think, within the last year. At first, she was like, “she’s a girl-boy.” She would say “Rika,” but she would say “he.” …So, we’ve been trying to gradually get her to understand that she’s a girl, mommy’s gay, and you can love anybody for anything. Don’t judge anybody by whatever it is that they do. I try to get her to know that God likes variety, so that’s what we try to teach her.
How has it been watching Anayah bond with Terrika?
Tianna: Of course, it’s different dating when you have a kid. If your kid doesn’t like them, it doesn’t matter if you like them; it’s just not going to work. Anayah is a funny acting person, so if she doesn’t like somebody, she will make it known. ‘Rika, ‘Rika, ‘Rika is all she talks about, it made me feel good. I was like, “okay you [Terrika] just might be the one.”
Terrika, how has it been bonding with Anayah?
Terrika: It’s been phenomenal. To me, that was my main thing. Even though I wanted to pursue things with her, you can’t get anything done if you can’t get through to the kid first. I don’t care whether it’s heterosexual or whatever. In a relationship, if that kid’s not feeling you, it’s pretty much a wrap. Being that everything worked out, I’m glad. I treat her as if I had her.
Have you ever experienced any discrimination over being a gay parent?
Tianna: Not really being parents, just being gay. One time, I was at a gas station and, I’m parked at the gas station at the pump, and this guy is just yelling out all kinds of crazy stuff like, “go find you a man, b-i-t-c-h.”
How do you feel about people saying that a child will become gay if raised by a same-sex couple?
Terrika: That’s just BS to me. Straight people have gay kids. Why does a gay couple have to have a gay child? True, it is possible. It’s also possible for their child to grow up heterosexual.
