Black hairstory: Black women talk relaxed or natural

Profession: Plus Size Model, Founder of Model Esteem

Natural or Relaxed: Natural

Unlike most women I do not remember when I did the “big chop”. I never thought in a million years that I would be one of those naturals. I remember when I begged my mom for a relaxer at 13 years old because I was tired of being teased for my natural thick hair. After all having natural hair was not popular back in those days and you were often considered unkept and nappy headed if you wore your natural hair. So from 13 years old up until adulthood I would get my hair relaxed and styled faithfully sometimes wearing weaves. It was not until my 20’s that I noticed hair loss that was in the form of bald spots in my head. I did not notice it right away until my scalp started to burn and I noticed hair loss where my scalp would burn. I started to get a relaxer less frequently and wore braids and weaves but my hair kept falling out. Eventually I went to the dermatologist and at first they thought I had lupus, but after getting a biopsy of my scalp to determine what was the cause, they diagnosed me with telegon effluvium and alopecia. Black women suffer from these scalp conditions that are often caused by the use of birth control pills, relaxers, braids, weavers, medical conditions and stress. My hair loss was a combination of many of those things. The dermatologist told me my hair would never grow back in the bald area and I cried all the way home.

Black women take pride in their hair and to know that your hair will never grow back in certain areas was hard to deal with, especially since I had long thick hair as a child. I completely stopped relaxing my hair but wore wigs because I did not want to display to the world my natural hair because I thought I looked ugly and like a man. I did not go anywhere without my wig. I remember I had to go out and I could not find my wig that I had somehow misplaced. I was frantically looking for my wig to the point I sat in the floor and cried. It was that day that I decided to come out the closet as full naturalista, displaying my natural hair in a modeling show. People told me how beautiful natural my low cut was and I have not looked back. Being natural is truly an empowering experience because it was journey of accepting my beauty. I love my hair and would not change it for the world. Being natural rocks!