They say behind every good man is a good woman. Women and men bring a different skill set to the table and maybe the most effective teams consist of both sides. In the highly rated “New Edition” biopic, we saw lead singer Ralph Tresvant’s girlfriend pushing him to take his career to the next level. She consistently pointed out how his group members were taking him for granted and suggested he put himself first so that his career would benefit. Later in the story, we see her enjoying an “I told you so” moment when his former group members’ album goes platinum and his album tanks. Instead of holding her tongue we see her rub her moment in Tresvant’s face, much to his embarrassment. The situation begs the question, should he have listened to his woman? Or should she have kept her mouth shut?
The answer to this question probably varies to a large extent depending on the man you are with but no one wants to be embarrassed or reminded of their failure by their partner of all people. “I can’t count the number of times that my man will do something that I know is stupid. Even if he ends up knowing I was right, he doesn’t like to admit I was right,” laughs Sonya, 42. “I just let him do what he wants to do, I’m learning to keep my mouth shut.”
Ebony, a 36-year-old customer service manager disagrees. “I think my man likes having a woman that can help him make difficult decisions. He tells me that he’s learned a lot from me.” Ebony says she and her husband have learned that working together as a team has made them much stronger. Still, she knows when to back off and allow him to figure some things out on his own. “I guess I try to find that balance and let him come to me when he wants my help.”
Tresvant’s solo career may have been different if he’d listened to his girlfriend at the time, but it’s also quite possible that if her approach had been different he may have listened to her and she would’ve had a bigger impact. Instead, his album failed and the situation was leveraged as one of the things that eventually lead to the couple’s demise.
Best case scenario would be having a conversation with your significant other and attempting to gauge what they need from you at the time. One thing is for sure, you definitely catch more flies with honey. Tread lightly, ladies.
